Paroxysm
by C. Hawthorne
Summary: In which a young man has a lot of growing up to do, and a not-so-young woman helps him do it. OC story.
1. Intro

Send your OC's info to me, and I can put them in this story! Hurry up, because the new Gotei 13 must be filled XD

Name: First, Middle, Last.

Age: Both actual age and physical age.

Personality: Be as detailed as possible.

Appearance: I really need a lot of detail to be able to do this, otherwise I'll feel jammed. Hair color, eye color, height, skin color, and any distinguishing marks/tattoos.

Zanpakuto: Name, ability, and spirit.

Happy reading!


	2. Fall

Paroxysm_,_ an **xSilverWingsx** fanfic

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**Then she attacks me like a Leo**

**When my heart is split like Rio**

**But I assure you my debts are real**

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Shuujarou's thoughts and lyrics are **Bold**

Akane's thoughts and lyrics are _Italic  
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March 28, 2033 **9:19 PM**_  
Japanese Special Operations Group Headquarters  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan_

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"Lieutenant?" asked a high, sharp voice. "Shall I send your request to the mainland?"

I didn't turn to look at her from my chair. "Yes, Michiko. And if at all possible, tell Kyuui I request her presence."

"Hai." I heard the rustle of her skirts as she bowed, then ambled from the room in a rush. Somehow, in the dark room full of electronic screens, the presence of others kept me from complete insanity, despite my love for solitary time. Being fifteen, however, studies got in the way of most of that time. I digress.

I was Hanshou Shuujarou. Child of Japan's beloved Chief of Staff, Naraki Shuujarou, who had been murdered the previous year. Despite the brutality of the crime, it had had little effect on me. I had never been very close to him.

Oddly enough, ever since I had joined the of the Japan Ground Self-Defense Force (after World War II, the Imperial Japanese Army had been dissolved) my father had ordered that I be promoted almost constantly while he was still in power. Obviously, he wanted me to follow in his footsteps.

We were currently engaged in war with Germany, one we'd been in all my life. I'd learned that it was because of a suicide bombing back in 2010, in Shinjuku. I was still a bit wary of leaving the compound, mostly because all I had was here: my laptop, beloved cat Inari, and last but not least, my photographs. When I was younger, I liked snapping photographs of the most random things. Pumpkins, sakura trees, dogs, stop signs - if you could construe it as random, I had at least one developed negative of it. There wasn't much else to do in times of war, because money had become so tight.

My legs felt brittle, but I stretched them nonetheless as I walked quietly across the dark room toward my door, sliding a SIG P226 from the rack near the door. A present from Kyuui, the German gun had been liberated a month ago.

I caught my reflection in a dim mirror near the door. Black hair that had once been long was chopped off near the nape of my neck, framing a sharp face with dark slanted eyes. Obviously, I resembled my father more, but he had always told me I looked like Elizabeth. Somehow. Occasionally I would remember my mother, and how harebrained she had been. I didn't care if I looked like her or not.

I was met by a rush of headache-enducing light, but I blinked it away. Young people weren't supposed to be this sensitive to light, and yet I was.

"Second Lieutenant!" said a voice.

**Who...?** My fingers tightened around the cool metal of the gun, but the pair of surprised dark eyes told me that this was not a German. I relaxed my hand warily. "Yes, what do you want?" I said impatiently, foot tapping idly on the floor. The short young man stumbled over his words.

"Second Lieutenant, this is important! Please don't shoot." Sweat beaded in his jetty hair, and for a moment, I doubted that he was up to anything. I didn't lower my hand, though.

I closed my eyes, but opened them again on impact. "What is it?"

"W-well, _they're here, _Second Lieutenant! The Germans!"

My mouth fell open, face contorting into a deathly expression. The Germans? Usually, they didn't go for head-on attacks. No, mustard gas and hidden explosives were more their style."Who are you?"

"T-Tanaka, Shuujarou-sama... Tanaka Bikaru..." he seemed slightly caught off guard by my sudden question. I never usually asked the citizens their names, but today, I knew, would be different. I was no psychic, never had been, but I had a feeling.

"Bikaru-san," I said, brandishing the gun. "We're leaving."

* * *

March 28, 2033 **9:27 PM**_  
Grounds of Japanese Special Operations Group Headquarters  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

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Bullets pierced the air through rain, that fell softly around for such a violent scene. I found it difficult to take any of this in, and I stumbled about, firing a few shots, not even stopping to see the damage I had done. Cold rain pelted my neck, and heard people calling for me. I don't know what I was doing, to be honest, but I knew that I had to get away. If I could make it to the main compound, I could get reinforcements, and lives would be saved.

I didn't account for the Germans guarding the perimeter.

A portly man with a ruddy complexion threw out an arm, catching me easily and slamming me against a wall I hadn't even seen in the dim light. He laughed uproariously.

"Gotcha."

**I'm a fucking idiot.** I kicked against his grip, flailing and twisting like a fish out of water. But I weighed one-fifty dripping wet, and he was painfully strong.

"I know whose son you are," he said in broken Japanese, and his heavy accent made him even more sinister.

I couldn't speak, because his meaty hand was clamped over my throat. I struggled against him more. "Just stop," he said. "That's not going to help you."

And with that, he pulled a revolver from his pocket, and I realized then that I was going to die. No one cared to help me; they were all too busy trying to save their own skin. I bucked my knees and tried to reach his chest, but he was just too tall. My lungs felt dry and they were beginning to constrict.

**So much for following in Dad's footsteps**_, _I thought sourly, but I suppose there was still a little part of me that believed I'd live. This was what I held onto.

Tanaka had fallen, had taken a bullet to the head. I spent several moments staring at him, wondering what his last thoughts had been, and if they'd been similar to mine.

The German squeezed my neck harder, and without any warning he rapped me across the head with the revolver. Shivers punched through me as I saw stars, dumbfounded. His laugh was caustic, and I felt the tip of the gun align with my forehead.

Usually, in these situations, the killer says something witty before ending the life of his enemy. But no. He simply squeezed the trigger and shot me into oblivion.

* * *

_I am colorblind  
coffee black, and egg white_

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March 28, 2033 **10:13 PM**_  
Airika Yominichi's office__  
7th Division Compound  
Seireitei_

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_

"Captain," said a slightly meek voice, echoing in the hall. "Captain!" Her arms were buckling under the weight of the young man, his blood running down her arms in rivulets. Her knees threatened to give out, but Akane was resilient. "Where are you?!" she grumbled in frustration.

"Akane!" came the grumpy reply. "It's late, what do you want?"

Akane nodded fervently, her bright hair swaying and brushing against his pale face. Poor boy. What happened...? when she had found him, all of his wounds from death had been intact. She hurried into the dim office.

Her Captain, Yominichi Airika, was penning an official-looking document, her lids barely open over her large sapphire eyes. They opened at the sight of Akane, and then widened at the sight of the boy. "Oh, wow.. What happened to that man?!" she stood up, revulsion and shock evident in her.

Akane bowed slowly and placed him on the floor, and just in the nick of time. She probably would've dropped him. "I found him as I was leaving the Living World... but I used what little I knew to replenish his blood supply..." she laid a finger against his neck, feeling the faint thrum of a pulse.

Airika blinked. "Why would you save a human from his death, Akane? You know we aren't mean to meddle in these things." She stared down at her shrewdly. "How on earth did you get him here all the way from Japan? You almost died carrying him into the office."

"Ikaro carried him."

Airika gave her a dark look, and for a moment Akane was terrified. Would her Captain make her leave him to die? Would she hate her if she refused?

"Check his pockets," she said finally.

Relief washed over the blond, followed by confusion. "Pockets? What's that have to do with anything?" Akane asked, her deep blue eyes probing the man. But before her Captain answered she did it. Akane would follow Airika no matter what. With shaky hands she pulled out a leather wallet, and pulled out the contents.

The first thing that caught her eye was what appeared to be identification. It read:

Name: Shuujarou, Hanshou Ivan

Male

Birthdate: 10/14/2010

Ht: 6'2 Wt: 147

Blood Type: O-

In the picture, he was stoic and much paler than he was now -- but that was probably because of all the blood. There was an obvious if not glaring melancholy to him, and she wondered what could have caused that. She looked at it for a long time.

The Vice-Captain looked up. "Captain, what should I do with him?" her eyes trembled.

Airika appraised him quickly. "Well, did you notice? His spiritual pressure is through the roof. Well," Airika said, turning this way and that in front of a large mirror to admire herself, "I'll be going home now. Make good choices with him!" she winked before gliding out the door.

"But I--" Akane cut herself off. She couldn't contradict. "Right." She looked back down at him. "Shuujarou-san," she said timidly, even though he was still blatantly unconscious. "I'm sorry."


	3. Initiation

Paroxysm_,_ an **xSilverWingsx** fanfic

_Can I believe, when I don't trust?  
All your theories turn to dust.  
I choose to hide from the all seeing eye..._

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March 29, 2033 **5:16 AM**_  
Akane Kikenei's bedroom  
7th Division Compound  
Seireitei_

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The insides of my eyes were raw, and predictably, my limbs felt like lead. I swallowed and tried to make sense of this still life that I seemed to exist in now, of blackness and blank thoughts. It occurred to me that I should open my eyes, but I was trying not to. Hadn't I been shot down?

A soft voice ebbed through my ears. I could understand my native tongue, spoken by a hushed feminine voice.

"I don't know what Captain wants me to do," the feminine voice said in a worrisome tone. I could even hear slight sniffling. "If I leave him here... he'll wake up alone... if I stay..." she seemed to be speaking to someone else. "I guess I could stay with him for the day." And oddly enough, she touched my neck with gentle fingers. "His heart's beating."

Who was this person? My curiosity was piqued. And... my heart? Numbness ensued in my brain. I had been shot to death... at least, I thought so.

Her sniffles intensified, and my stomach turned. What was she crying for? I plunged my eyes open by force. Sitting before me was a rather small girl with bright blond hair that hung in a disheveled ponytail. Her wide blue eyes were flooded with tears, and my mind reeled. What was I supposed to do now? I had never consoled anyone before.

Somehow, within my numb brain, two words scraped out of my mouth: "What's wrong?" I sounded like a toad.

Her eyes widened to a gigantic size, and she looked a little manic. "Shuujarou-san?" she whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't wake you earlier,

I cut across her. "I asked you what was wrong with you." She looked as if she would break down crying. I lightened my voice. "Miss."

She gasped, just loud enough to be heard. "What happened to you?"

"Me," I said. "I... was shot."

"About a thousand times," she said matter-of-factly, sadness ebbing away. "I suppose once wasn't enough for them."

"I can imagine," I said in a clipped tone, thinking of the portly German who had nearly choked me to death.

"Captain told me that I was an idiot for healing you, but I couldn't help myself." She looked away from me, going red.

Healing? "With medicine?"

She shook her head, biting her lips in turn. "No, no, with Kido," she said in a misty tone. I stared. "It's... an incantation... but of course, you're a human, you wouldn't know..."

I wouldn't know? Was this woman a nut? "I don't follow."

"First," she said, holding up one small index finger. "Let me tell you what happened. You were shot to death, but my squad and I were in the area at the time for an extermination. Your soldiers were... all dead."

I knew this already, but it stung all the same.

"Why are you at war?" she said softly, her eyes sickeningly sweet.

It took me a moment. "We've been in war since before I was born."

"So you don't know." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.

"No."

For some reason she began to introduce herself. "I'm Kikenei Akane, Vice Captain of Squad Seven. I carried you here." There was an odd air of confidence in her voice.

I noted the large spatters of blood all over her black kimono and white sash, wondering if I should thank her. "You did?"

"Yes. I..." she looked off in another direction. "You looked very sad."

"I must have," I said. "Well, thank you, Akane-san."

"Don't thank me." She looked away, suddenly quiet. "You'd have wound up here anyway, if I hadn't done anything."

"It's not like I'm blaming you," I explained calmly, turning my head so I was level with her knees. "After all, I must have been very heavy, for you."

Akane nodded hastily. "Yes, yes, you were."

For a while, neither of us spoke. Conundrums bounced in my head like hyper children as I tried to comprehend her odd Squad and Kido lingo. I had seen her eyes - not everything was right, but she didn't seem unhinged at the moment. She just looked at me with the wide blue orbs. I sympathized with her upon the subject of being a little unwell.

"Akane-san," I said.

"Yes?"

"Could you tell me a bit more about this... Squad you're in?"

"Well, to start, there's the Gotei 13. We've got our own military-forces--" she gave a wan smile-- "but they're apart from the Gotei 13. The Kido Corps are a group of people who guard the gates in and out, and the Stealth Forces... they're like private police, or spies... and there's the special Zero Division. Soul Society has this... King, really, and they guard his family."

I tried to take all of that in. "And, this Gotei 13 is headed by...?"

"Imasuki-genryusai. The Head-Captain."

"Ah." I had thought she was having some sort of breakdown, and was imagining all of this, but somehow I believed. "And you work for this person?"

"Yes." Akane shifted uncomfortably. "I… well, are you sure you're okay?"

I felt startled. Never before had I met someone who cared to ask repeatedly. "I'm fine, thank you." I tried to smile but it came out as a cracked grimace that she greeted with a sad sigh. "If anything, I'm better than before." Of course it was a lie. The truth wouldn't get me anywhere with this girl.

But the sniffles returned. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

_Swallow. _"It's all right… Akane." I bit my lip. What now?

"My Captain told me today… that if I wanted to help you, I needed to know more about you, Shuujarou-san." She knitted her fingers together.

More about me. Well, this would be easy. "I'm in the Japan Ground Def--"

She cut me off. "Not that. Where were you born?"

I blinked. "I was born in Kumamoto Cirt, where you found me."

She tilted her head to the side. "Where are your mother and your father?" her voice was strangled.

"My father is in Japan, and my mother lives in America," I said, remembering her with a slight twitch of my mouth. "My father is under the impression that I'm dead."

Akane seemed solemn, so I knew it would be wise to shut my mouth. But then, of course, she spoke up again. "What do you want to do?"

This question could mean a lot of things. What did I want to do? I wanted to return to the base. Tell Kyuui everything was all right. Pet my cat. "I don't know." I sighed, exasperated.

She exhaled. "Would you like to stay with me?"

"Honestly, I'd like to go home."

"You can't."

"What?" my eyes seemed to tremble and a rush of cold flew over me.

She seemed to reel on the edge of crying again. "Why do you want to go home?"

I thought of the most obvious person. "Kyuui. She's waiting for—"

"Your wife will wait for you, if she loves you. She has to… wait for you." She stared at her palm for a few moments. "People who love you… you do lose them, don't you? Always, in the end."

I wondered if she was just speculating, or if she was trying to tell me it wasn't worth it. "We're not married. And she can't wait for me, they'll murder her."

"Then in that case, you will see her again."

My head spun sickeningly. Maybe this was some form of trick. "Prove it," I said quietly. If I could see with my own eyes what she was telling me, I would believe every word. Akane didn't seem like a liar, just a bit unhinged. If it was true to her and I, it was true to everyone.

Her hand lowered down to her sash, where there was a hilted katana. I stared at it for a few seconds before she pulled it free from the sheath. "Blast, Kyohaku Shinsei!"

The sword slightly diminished in length, the sharp end transitioning into a rounder, more blunt shape. Soon I recognized it as a baseball bat, surrounded by glittering novas. A lump hardened in my throat, curiosity abounding within me.

"What is that called?"

"This," she held it out for me to survey more closely, "is my zanpakuto, Kyohaku Shinsei. It manipulates light and strength."

My amethyst eyes jetted back up to her. "Akane."

She jumped. "Yes?"

"You fight with this Kyohaku Shinsei?"

"Yes. I do." Akane bit down hard on her top lip. "You fight a lot, too."

I shook my head. "No, not quite..."

"Your body is covered with scars."

"You've looked… at my body?" the realization came slowly, and immediately I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, even though she didn't seem as if she had ulterior motives.

"My Captain, she said to do it. To make sure you weren't hiding anything." She was red again, a vivid shade, and I knew at once that she was as embarrassed about this as I was. "Otherwise, I really wouldn't have – I mean, I don't know you and that must seem pretty gross of me to—"

I swallowed. "If your Captain told you to, then, it was good you followed her orders. It's none of my business." I looked down at the plain white kimono I was wearing. Every sash had been wrapped with care. "You're very hospitable, do you know that?"

"I am… I guess." She shrugged. "Anyway, do you… where did they all come from?"

I blinked, confused."What?"

"Your scars."

I closed my eyes and let out the air slowly through my mouth. "I was a soldier..."

"They didn't _all _come from combat." She sounded ominous, her eyes hard and unyielding.

"That, on the other hand, is my business." I gave her a final stare, and stood up myself. I seethed loudly at the sudden stinging sensation, and my legs gave way. To nothing but my pure shock, she caught me with one arm.

"Lie down. Now." Her voice dripped with authority, and I didn't have much of a choice. She lowered me back to the mat. "I'm supposed to stay with you today. That okay with you?"

I looked at her. She was like me in a way – or what seemed like many – with her perturbed mind and numb reactions, and her eyes. Poignant ones. "Yes."

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**A/N: Crap, this one's short. xD But I hope you liked it anyway.**


	4. Rouge

Paroxysm_,_ an **xSilverWingsx** fanfic

**And I've wanted you too much  
And now I'm gonna lose  
I've wanted you too much  
And now I've gotta choose.**

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Shuujarou's thoughts and lyrics are **Bold  
**Akane's thoughts and lyrics are _Italic_  
Kyuui's thoughts and lyrics are Underlined

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April 9, 2033 **9:46 AM**_  
Akane Kikenei's bedroom__  
7th Division Compound  
Seireitei_

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"Eat this," she said softly.

I glanced at the bowl of brown rice and vegetables clutched between her delicate fingers.

"Come on, eat, you're a skeleton."

My eyes clouded over from the steam, but I took the bowl and plunged my chopsticks hungrily into it. Then I realized how uncourteous I was being. "Thank you." A bit of rice fell from my mouth, and I felt my face warm.

Akane smiled lightly. "I'm clumsy like that, too. But it's usually drinks for me." She sat Indian-style on the tatami and laced her fingers together as I continued to scarf down the food. "So, Shuujarou, I've been thinking a little."

I chewed. "About?"

"About you and I. We're friends." She gave a washed-out smile.

**How in the world do you consider me a friend? I've been polite to you, at best... **"Well, I know, but where are you going with this?"

"Well, you should join my Division. Even Captain Yominichi thinks so. She thinks you've got potential."

I felt my face contort. "Potential? Please." I began to eat again, but with less enthusiasm. "I'm not trying to be rude to you. Believe me. But I'm a… I only have military potential." I was learning how to talk to Akane quickly. You could never be too brash with her or she would get very upset. I had made her cry six times already. Now I pondered every sentence before it escaped… every look I gave her, every vocal inflection. She was sensitive to nearly everything.

I thought of how starkly she contrasted with Kyuui. There was very little warmth to the girl, just hard facts. In that I had been able to say anything I needed to when we talked, which was rare.

Akane remained pokerfaced. "Just think about it, Shuujarou. It's pretty hard to get through the Academy, but you're—I think you'll make it."

"You do?" I had no intention of going to this Academy, but it was very important to keep her comfortable.

"Mhm." She glanced at my empty bowl. "Are you still hungry?"

"No, thank you."

She looked at me again, but determined this time. "Tell me where the extra scars came from, will you? I'm curious."

"No." I glared at her, unable to stop myself. But she didn't cry, or even flinch this time.

"If you don't want to tell me, then I have to assume it's something… something you don't want to share. Friends need to be honest, but some secrets are just too—"

"Fine. I used to cut myself." The words were sharp and acerbic on my tongue. Something else I hadn't intended to reveal.

"You did what?"

I closed my eyes. "Back when I was around fourteen or fifteen, I was depressed."

The room felt empty except for her breathing. "You…"

"Things like this are so cliché in the modern world, you know, it's embarrassing to even tell you. Usually, girls do it..." **Why the hell am I telling her this? Oh, right. Because she's been insisting. **

She trembled. "…why?"

"Why?" I turned to her, and my tone was defiant. "Because I was immature and stupid."

"You're many things, but stupid is certainly not one of them," she said breezily, smiling at me.

Something odd happened, and I found that something stirred in my chest. I shifted uncomfortably. "...Thank you, Akane." **Friends... I could do that.

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_Crashing down to earth__  
Wasting and burning out  
Fading like a dead star

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April 9, 2033 **12:13 PM**_  
Airika Yominichi's office__  
7th Division Compound  
Seireitei

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_

"Akane," Airika said formally, pulling out a crisp folder from her drawer and brandishing it at her Vice, who was seated on the floor. "Tell me about Shuujarou."

Akane seemed a bit somber. "Shuujarou… is nice." Her teeth came down on a her chapped lips. "He's sort of cold, though."

Airika smiled. "Good. We need someone a little cold in this Division. You're all too nice." She shook her head and scribbled something on a stack of papers. "What's he like?"

"…I just said…" Akane's eyes were misty. "He doesn't think he'll do well as a Shinigami. He thinks he's supposed to be with the Militia."

"Maybe he is." Airika shrugged, but her attention was caught by the window. "Ah, Akane! The blossoms are opening!"

The younger woman let out a sigh. "Captain, please."

Airika blinked. "Right!" she sat back down in her chair. "Okay, so he's… male… twenty three— oh, did you find anything awesome on his body?" she rose one eyebrow and Akane bumbled over her words.

"W-well, no I didn't, but he's just…"

"You think he's good-looking, don't you, Akane? You don't have to lie!" she patted the head of her subordinate.

"I'm not lying, Captain."

"Well, is he…" Airika paused. "Is he… large?"

Akane blinked spastically, confused by the word. "He's skinny, Captain.."

Her Captain smiled slowly. "How adorable! You're so naïve. I didn't mean his body. I meant his—"

A huge, upset gasp came from Akane. She was mortified, dropping the folder containing Shuujarou's information. "Oh, Captain, no… no, no, please don't tell me you're trying to talk to me about stuff like that!"

"I'm just wondering. You need to keep an eye on him, if my suspicions are right... which judging from your reaction, I'd say they are," Airika said with a wink, checking her hair in a small mirror. "I want to make sure no one takes advantage of the poor guy. I mean, he's too pretty to be a boy, don't you think?"

"Captain, I really don't want to talk about Shuujarou like that," Akane muttered, her lips very close together when she spoke.

"Oh, fine. You suck the fun out of everything." Airika adjusted the sleeves of her haori. "The military man and the fun sucker. Nice combination."

Akane ignored that jibe. "Just wait until he meets Oreni."

Oreni Habinozuka was the Seventh Division's sex-crazed Third Seat. She spent most of her time having fantasies about various members of the Gotei 13, and told Akane about them in vivid detail. The blonde tried to avoid her whenever possible.

"Whatever, Aka—look at that squirrel!" Airika said in wonder, staring out the window at a small squirrel tittering over an acorn.

"I've got to go home." Akane let out a soft sigh and straightened up.

"Tell Shuujarou I said hi!" her Captain called.

_God_, Akane thought as she made her way down the hall. _She's such a pervert.

* * *

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**birds go flying at the speed of sound  
to show you how it all began****  
birds go flying through the underground  
if you could see it, then you'd understand

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April 9, 2033 **1:26 PM**_  
Home of Akane Kikenei  
__7th Division Compound  
Seireitei_

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Akane slid open the door leading into her house with wary fingers, wondering what she would talk about with Shuujarou. That conversation with Airika had been too bold for her to handle, especially when he was living with her. Needless to say, she was anxious.

The blonde heaved a sigh of relief as she entered the living room. He was sleeping soundly on the mat, arms curled into his chest. The usually spasmed face was calm and amicable, lips parted slightly and eyelids resting lightly over the wine-colored orbs. She swallowed and sat down next to him, pulling out her file and pen to work again. The gentle scratching of the writing utensil didn't seem to bother him in the slightest, which was to be expected. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

By now she had compiled a detailed biography of Shuujarou Hanshou. He was quiet but resourceful, although at times he could be a little nervous. And this was never about anything big; he broke out in a sweat if he was told he didn't look well. Airika said he sounded a bit jittery, and maybe he'd calm down some more after spending time in the Academy. That was another thing bothering her.

She slapped the folder down on the ground, but wasn't aware of how loud it had been until his eyes shot open. With alarmed blue orbs she watched his stare, but he didn't seem angry.

"Hello, Akane."

"...Hi," she replied apprehensively. "Did you sleep well?"

"Fine." His eyes were on the ceiling. "How was your meeting?"

"I left early."

"Any reason why?" as he turned to look at her, Akane felt guilty about earlier. Of course, she hadn't told Airika anything, but she felt she'd deceived him.

"Not particularly... you hungry?"

"No." He sighed slowly. "I'm tired, I think, but I can't sleep for more than a few minutes at a time..." The look in his eyes was vacant, a little punch-drunk but alert. "Akane, earlier I gave a lot of thought to your question. I wondered if your Academy might help me out, after all."

Her ears perked up autonomously. "Really?"

He shrugged.

"Well, Yominichi-taichou was telling me she wanted you to meet some other Shinigami. That'll help you too." Her mind was abuzz. If Shuujarou chose to go to the Academy, she could teach him... he would do well, and be praised. That would be good for him, she knew, because it was obvious he was starved for some kindness.

"When?"

"Now, if you want." Akane shrugged and looked at her feet.

Shuujarou threw his covers off. He remained fully dressed underneath them, the white robe clinging to him. "Let's leave, then." But when he rose, his face spasmed. She remembered the bullet wounds on his chest. "Well," he frowned, "not just yet."

The blonde exhaled. "If you would stop trying to leave so much, we wouldn't have this problem. Look, I'll just bring Oreni over to meet you, that way you won't feel so bored." She thought of the Third Seat with a slight relief.

Shuujarou blinked. "Bored? I'm not bored. I'm in pain, my feet are numb."

"Oh." Akane was on her way to the door. "Well, I'll be back soon."

* * *

do you ever wonder  
how hard you hit  
you broke my thunder

* * *

April 9, 2033 **1:53 PM**_  
Home of Oreni & Ikaro Habinozuka__  
7th Division Compound  
Seireitei_

_

* * *

  
_

Oreni Habinozuka was a tiny brunette with slanted brown eyes and a face like a porcelain doll. She was spritely and graceful, but sex was all she could think about. Men and sex, sex and men. Paperwork was important to her too, but that was about it.

When Akane arrived in the Habinozuka household, Oreni and her older brother, Ikaro, sat at a low table drinking tea. Oreni had her hair pulled up into a high ponytail, bangs resting in layers across her forehead. When she caught sight of her superior, she smiled slowly.

"Akane!" she squeaked in a slightly disturbing way.

"It's Akane-fukutaichou," she sighed harriedly, "good evening, Ikaro."

The white-blond man nodded at her and sipped his drink. Ikaro had helped Akane transport Shuujarou to Soul Society from Japan those few weeks ago. "What brings you here, Akane-fukutaichou?" Ikaro Habinozuka was the Fifth Seat, much to his chagrin. It was a family tradition for the man to make Third Seat, but Oreni had broken the mold.

"Yominichi-taichou told you about Shuujarou,, didn't she?" Akane knew she had, but there was no other way to bring it up.

Oreni's eyes lit up. "Ah, yes! Just about an hour ago, to be honest. Why?" she leaned her cheek into her left hand.

"Well, I--"

You don't have to say! Let's just go meet him. I didn't put on any makeup, but I think I'm--"

"Horny," Ikaro snorted, shaking his head. "Look, just don't let her within five feet of him and you're good." His brown eyes danced with suppressed laughter.

"I am so not horny, all right? I just like to look good." Oreni turned her nose up at her brother and got to her feet. "Besides, according to the Captain, this man is really shy. Right, Akane?"

"...If you're saying he's not interested, well, I'd have to agree." Why would Shuujarou want someone like Oreni, anyway? She wasn't stupid, but limited, and he seemed to be one for intellect. "Let's not waste any more time, Oreni."

"Right."

* * *

_I'm not afraid of tomorrow__  
I'm only scared of myself__  
feels like my insides are on fire  
and I'm looking through the eyes of someone else

* * *

_

April 9, 2033** 2:19 PM  
**_Home of Ikuta, Mamiru, and Kyuui Miesutomo  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto, Japan

* * *

_

"Kyuui, get up."

Mamiru's voice barely broke through her eardrums as she lay on her bed with an old photo book, a mane of tangled ginger hair curling around her. Pale fingers turned the pages.

"Kyuui, now." Mamiru was getting very irritated with her daughter. "His funeral is this evening, and if we go, we need to look our best. Hanshou wouldn't want you to-"

"Don't say his name," Kyuui said, suddenly alert to her mother's words. She slowly turned her head, navy eyes sad but somehow determined.

Mamiru sighed. He had been a nice young man, however reclusive, but he had brought her daughter so much happiness. Kyuui would come home every day with a tale involving Hanshou Shuujarou and their adventures together.

"All right, well. You need a bath soon, regardless."

"...I don't intend to go," she said just as her mother had turned to leave. The older woman froze and turned around.

"Wh-what? But you must go. He was your best--"

"I can't go. It would be too sad." Kyuui pulled her blanket up over her and bent her body into a serpentine form. "Because if I stay home like this, and just remember him, well, it'll be like he never left." Mom, get out. Go by yourself if you want to.

"You have to see the point here. He didn't mean to leave you, but he couldn't help it, dear. He left you so many memoirs. If there's anyone he didn't want to leave, it was you."

"But he left me anyway. I _told _him he shouldn't stay at that base. It was too dangerous. Of course he didn't listen."

"...Yes." Mamiru let out a sigh. "Are you sure you want to stay home? You don't even want to say goodbye?"

Suddenly, there was a break in Kyuui's peaceful mask as she burst into tears. Her mother stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. The girl had been raised by servants, after all, and now that they had all left...

She put a hand on her shoulder and tried to calm her. "Kyuui, it'll be--"

"No!" Kyuui sobbed, "it won't be okay, Mom, it won't! He's gone, he's gone!" she sounded as if she were hyperventilating. "Shuujarou's gone!" the blubbering got worse as his name escaped her lips.

Mamiru had never been good at comforting her daughter. She patted her shoulder awkwardly. "It'll be okay. You'll see each other again some--"

"Mother, get _out! _Just leave!"

* * *

**I don't blame you for being you.  
But you can't blame me for hating it.

* * *

**

April 9, 2033 **2:42 PM**_  
Home of Akane Kikenei__  
7th Division Compound  
Seireitei

* * *

  
_

"So, Shuujarou-san," said Oreni,"what do you like to do in your free time?"

"Well, I do like to write..." Shuujarou was looking at her with a vague curiosity. "And I like sailing."

She gave a breathy laugh. "Well, isn't that interesting!"

Akane watched from nearby with narrowed eyes. Leave it to Oreni to try and rope Shuujarou in. Unfortunately for her, he seemed confused. The planes of his cheeks were puckered in accordance to his furrowed brow as he tried to decipher her actions.

"Maybe, if you ever visit your world again, you can take _me _sailing! I've always wanted to go!" her brown eyes glimmered.

Akane jumped up. "Okay, well, time to eat." In a flash she held a large tray laden with various dishes of rice and meat. Oreni eyed them longingly, as did Shuujarou, who she could tell loved food, and before she could hand out the plates they had them. Well, there's one thing they have in common.

When they were eating, she wondered how she should break the ice. "So... how have you been lately, Oreni?"

Oreni looked up. "I'm fine, thank you, Akane-fukutaichou."

_Damn. And I was hoping she'd ramble_. "Well, that's always good. Did Yominichi-taichou send you Shuujarou's application?"

The brunette frowned. "I haven't checked my mailbox today." She looked down at her salted beef and speared it with one of her chopsticks. "His application for what?"

"The Academy," Akane sighed. What else was there to apply for?

"How long does a person typically stay at the Academy?" Shuujarou asked.

"It depends on their powers," Akane explained. "I'd say... well, I don't really know how long you'll be there. It depends, we'll see." She chewed her rice slowly before going on. "I could help you with training before you go."

"I'd like that," he said quietly with a barely-there smile.

"Oh, that's so cute!" Oreni squealed, treating him to a bone-crushing embrace. "Your smile! Akane, he's adorable!"

"Thanks," Shuujarou muttered embarrassedly, pulling away with little force. Akane glared and was about to rebuke Oreni when there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Oreni called in a bubbly voice.

"Shitsumei," said a sharp but somehow kind voice.

"What is your business?" Akane asked with a frown. Caitlin Shitsumei was not someone she saw very often, with the exception of parties or meetings. An American who had forgotten her last name, Caitlin was somewhat distant from people outside her own division.

"Orders from the Central 46 for Kikenei and Habinozuka."

"Come in," Oreni said, looking just as confused as Akane. The Central 46 rarely interfered unless it was something dire.

A relatively tall young woman entered the room, looking at them through a curtain of dark hair. She seemed slightly wary of Shuujarou, but sank to her knees. "Please excuse me!" she said formally. "The Central 46 requests taichou, fukutaichou, and third seat of each Division."

Akane blinked spastically. "What on earth for?"

"I don't know, Kikenei-sama," Caitlin said, getting to her feet at top speed. "All I've been told is that it's urgent." She didn't seem very distressed at all, arms folded behind her back in a respectful but relaxed way. Her eyes fell on Shuujarou. "May I ask who you are?"

He was unruffled by the sudden reference. "Han- ... I am a friend of Akane's."

Caitlin looked at her with questioning eyes. "He's your friend?"

Akane nodded. "Yes, he's been staying with me for a while."

"So that means, you're promised to each--"

Shuujarou cut her off. "It isn't like that, Shitsumei-san." His lavender eyes were somewhat emotionless as turned to Akane. "You need to leave?"

The blonde stared at him. Why was he so prompt? Usually, when he was asked a question like that, he bumbled over it in an embarrassed voice. "Yes, I do have to go." She stood, trying to avoid his eyes. "Excuse me."


	5. Erraticism

Paroxysm, an **xSilverWingsx** fanfic

**I stare at the empty walls****  
I speak, no one hears  
****I make every excuse  
And blame my fears

* * *

**

Shuujarou's thoughts and lyrics are **Bold**

Akane's thoughts and lyrics are _Italic_

Kyuui's thoughts and lyrics are Regular

* * *

April 9, 2033 **3:18 PM  
**_Head Captain Imasuki's office  
__1st Division Compound  
Seireitei

* * *

_

"Akane-sama," Oreni said, her worried eyes darting from the blonde to the road ahead. "What could the matter be?" it was odd to see Oreni shaken up, but Akane couldn't blame her in the slightest. Other than her worry about the Central 46, there was something else on her mind.

_You need to leave?_

Shuujarou's parting words should not upset her, but they did. Usually, before she went to work, he sent her off with a kind goodbye. Today had been different and it bothered her. Maybe she could patch things up with him when she got home. She hoped that was unnecessary.

Before she knew it, Oreni was holding the door to the Head Captain's office.

Akane walked past her wordlessly and sank into a bow on the floor like the other seated officers. Nearby was Airika, wearing a similar expression to that of Oreni. Akane tilted her head to the side.

The Head-Captain's name was Hayate Imasuki. He sat in his rather tall chair, face contorted with distress. His untidy dark hair fell over his face. One would wonder why a Head-Captain was so young, but the previous Head-Captain had died of a mysterious disease. No one had quite figured it out yet.

Akane surveyed the rest of the room. Faces looked at her, ones that were familiar but not quite friendly.

A pair of black eyes gazed curiously at her, from Yamamoto-taichou. She seemed very confused by the hubbub. Near her was Noboru Gyakusetsu, but he was focused on the Head-Captain instead.

"I suppose you're wondering why I have called you all here today," said Imasuki-genryusai in a low voice. "It is a travesty."

Kamata-taichou of the third division frowned. "Pardon me, but what is it you mean, Imasuki-genryusai?"

The young man let out a sigh, his eyebrows bowing into an upset face. "Sakamesu-taichou was found murdered this morning in her quarters," he let out quietly.

Everyone wore a shocked expression, and Oreni was shaking her head continuously. Akane, feeling her mouth drop open, closed it hurriedly and tried to breathe. Sakamesu Hoshina was the Captain... or former Captain of the fourth division. She was very gentle to everyone around her.

"Who would do such a thing?" her own Captain said in a sharp, disgusted voice.

Imasuki-genryusai's face spasmed.

"That is what I'd like to move onto. Soon after Sakamesu-taichou was found, her Vice-Captain, Shima-san, went missing. But not before three additional fourth division members were found dead."

Akane felt slightly numb. Wh... Inokiso Shima was a nice man... a little quiet... but... She sent Airika a scared look, and her Captain mirrored it.

"What do we do now, Imasuki-genryusai?"

Oreni was trembling with tears, a sight that made Akane deeply depressed. Sakamesu-taichou had been like Oreni's mother. They had always been having tea together and laughing about things.

"Shima is no longer in Soul Society. We have searched high and low. Since this man would have nothing to gain from Hueco Mundo... we have reason to believe he is in the Living World at this time."

The silence suddenly broke into whispers. Surprisingly, some of the most talkative people were still noiseless, looking at the floor or at their hands. These were the ones close to Sakamesu-taichou.

"So," Imasuki-genryusai continued, "since I must investigate this at top speed, we have been forced to deploy seated officers to the Living World. Yominichi?"

Airika blinked several times. "W-yes, yes, Imasuki-genryusai?"

"We have determined that you and Misaki, as well as your Vice Captains, will search the Kyushu region of modern Japan, understood?"

After the initial shock of the order, Airika felt herself nodding. "Yes, Imasuki-genryusai."

Akane's pale hair hung in disheveled waves around her eyes, and through the bleached strings she looked around the room yet again. A blush crept up on her cheeks when she noticed that almost everyone was staring at her.

The other assembled officers' faces had not calmed a bit. Akane tried very hard not to stare, but was unable to keep her head down. She had never been one for listening, purposely or not, and when she was in a state of stress this only got worse. She caught Airika's eye but her Captain barely looked back. No defining feelings in the blue eyes.

Akane wrung her hands together. She had only been to the Living World a few times. Since Soul Society resembled Japan's edo period, she would have no clue how to work their modern items and would get lost as well, since most of the signs there wouldn't be written in old Japanese. And suppose she did find Shima? He would finish her. A hard lump surfaced in the back of her throat as she thought about the mission ahead.

The rest of the Head-Captain's assignments floated past her as she tried to make sense of why Shima would kill Sakamesu-taichou and her subordinates. He had nothing to be upset about, with great living conditions and good friends. Hell, she had eaten lunch with him before and he seemed like an upbeat person. So what was the catch here?

Just as the meeting ended, Akane raced to her Captain's side. She wanted to hold her sleeve and scream in confusion, but there was no excuse for that kind of behavior, especially in the Central 46. She let a sigh escape her mouth.

Airika faced her then.

"Akane-san, are you all right?" she asked.

What's the use of asking?

"Yes, Yominichi-taichou." She swallowed her throat-lump and glanced at her tabi.

"Are you ready for your orders tomorrow?"

_No. _"I live and breathe orders," she said in a falsely prideful tone, and needless to say, Airika saw right through that.

"If you don't know if you'll do well in the Living World," her Captain said, "your best bet is to consult someone who knows a lot about it." Her eyes grew bleary as she walked ahead, her shorter Vice-Captain jogging to keep up with her long strides.

_Is she okay? Everyone we know has been dead for a long time_. _What gives?_

"Like who?"

Airika rolled her eyes. "Akane, please."

The light-haired girl racked her brain for any person she knew who had been to the Living World recently. Definitely not Oreni or her brother, nor anyone else in the seventh division. There seemed to be something she kept missing, but it was somehow blocked off from her senses. "...Captain?"

Airika sounded irritated. "Who have you been living with for the past week?"

"Shuujarou?" the name sounded a little alien as it came out from that train of thought. As she walked alongside her Captain, feelings of disloyalty came with the prospect of disobeying her. "Yes, Yominichi-taichou."

"Ask him as soon as you get home, so you can both prepare," Airika advised. Sensing Akane's uncertainty, she went on, "Oh, don't worry about it. You know Shuujarou, he won't hesitate to help you." Her azure eyes were twinkling, and Akane moaned.

"Ah, Captain, please stop trying to make it seem like Shuujarou is in love with me." Akane shot her a look.

Airika cocked an eyebrow. "I never said that!" she giggled, patting Akane's head in a motherly way. "Ah, I think you may have a crush!"

Akane rolled her eyes. "That would be preposterous. Shuujarou doesn't seem like romance is something he wants to bother with. Besides, he already has a lover. What was her name... Kyuui?"

Her Captain smiled, but pulled out a mirror and began to look at her face expectantly. "Akane, I need to go home and freshen up. Go on home and ask him! Hey, you can stay in the Living World as long as you like! I don't mind it, you'll be there for at least a month anyway!"

As she strode off, Airika continued to titter like a mother hen. Her Vice Captain heaved a sigh and smoothed her sleeves.

"Oi, Masato. What is it you've stopped to do?" asked Haseo in a harried tone, looking around for Masato. The little boy had said something about saying hi to his friends, but that could mean a lot of things. The snowy-haired Captain turned on his heel and spotted Masato talking animatedly to the backs of Kanzaki and Yamamoto.

"Nii-chan says we could even go to an outlet-mall! I don't know what that is! Do you?!" the dark haired child was exclaiming.

"Masato," Haseo said lowly, eyes somehow annoyed.

At the sound of his voice, both Captains turned. A blush stained Karin's cheeks as she met his eyes, quickly looking away.

Raven Kanzaki gave him a respectful nod. "Misaki-dono."

"Raven-san," he said, not bothering to use an honorific. "Karin-san."

"Mi-Misaki-sama," she murmured. Of course Karin would use an honorific - she was far too rushed to risk anything else. "H-how are you? Are you ready for your trip into the Living World?"

Why did she care so much? As a Captain, Karin could sit here and do nothing. I smiled. "Yeah. Mostly. If I can get a hold of - "

Masato was suddenly at his side. "What time do we leave, Nii-chan? Not too early! I need to get lots of sleep!"

"Yeah. Because you need the extra energy..." Haseo rolled his eyes.

"Morning," said Kamata with a yawn as she strode into the street. "What is it I missed?"

Haseo glared at her as if she had grown an extra head. "What the hell? Weren't you at the meeting?"

She shook her navy hair out of her eyes with a smile. "Of course I was. But is there anything else? Noboru and I were talking over tea, and he said you guys were all out here. So I rushed out." She bent her arms behind her back and stretched.

Raven scoffed. "Leave it to you to be off eating when we're supposed to be getting ready for the mission."

Kamata pouted. "Now, Raven, don't be a little bitch. I was drinking. Tea isn't food, or at least I didn't think it was."

Karin looked at the clouds. "There's a storm coming." She glanced at Haseo warily. "Get home safely." With one more nod she made her way across the sidewalk and eventually disappeared from sight, her silvery hair billowing behind her.

"Have you ever met such a stiff?" Kamata said with more than a touch of amusement. "Jeez. Someone needs to go to a party or two."

Haseo swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "Well," he sighed, "Come on then, Masato. If you need sleep, then there's no time to be out here playing, is there?" he grabbed the arm of his Vice and pulled him warily off of Kamata, whose haori he had been hanging onto.

Masato looked thoughtful. "Well, Nii-chan, maybe I can deal with a little tiredness in the morning! After all, I am -"

"My Nii-chan." Haseo finished the catchphrase for him, putting up a hand behind them as he walked away. "Bye, guys."

"Bye," Raven said, "get up early."

"Shitsumei-san." A quiet voice permeated the silence. "Are you all right?"

Caitlin cast her eyes to the floor. She was the only person left in the meeting room... well, she and Captain Gyakusetsu. "Yes, I... I'm well, thank you." She wrung her hands. Sakamesu-taichou... was dead. There was just no way.

His crimson eyes watched her.

"What is it you want?" she asked expectantly, getting a little annoyed.

Noboru felt slightly rebuffed, and went for the door. "If you want to be alone, then be alone," he said.

* * *

Every time you told me, that we'd never say goodbye,  
was a lie ; you knew what to expect from me  
Just like a hit of ecstasy, you made me high...

* * *

Kyuui lingered blankly near the piano at which Shuujarou had taught her to play. It was dusty by now, because when he lived it had been kept meticulously clean. Now the piano gave her strong nostalgic feelings. One of the keys was missing from when she had accidentally pressed down too hard, but her best friend had not been mad at all. He said, 'Well, now the music's going to be different. Oh well, right? It'll be nice anyway.'

A voice spoke to her. "Miesutomo-san?"

Kyuui turned to see a tall, thin woman with long, curling blonde hair that was so light it seemed translucent. Her eyes were a deep lavender color that struck her within seconds. One of her delicate hands was joined with a frailer one, a little girl with honey brown hair. This child was peering at Kyuui with soft eyes identical to her mother's.

"Yes, ma'am." She bowed. She had seen this woman at the funeral earlier, one in tears. Dark circles still lingered under her eyes. "Might I ask your name?"

"I am Elizabeth Gunthram," she said, and the name struck strange chords with Kyuui. A Brit? At Shuujarou's funeral? "You seemed lonely."

"I am," Kyuui admitted. "Might I ask who you are?"

Elizabeth looked solemn. "Then there's no escaping this... this is my son's funeral. I wanted to pay him my respects." She breathed out softly and looked down at the little girl."This is Adalia, my younger daughter."

The little girl smiled shyly. "Hello," she said.

Kyuui felt stunned. Not once had Shuujarou mentioned his mother to her, nor Adalia... but then, had she ever asked him before? The woman resembled him just a bit, not nearly as much as his father, but she did. It was somewhere in her cheeks. There was an unmistakable resemblance. Adalia, however, looked only a bit like Elizabeth. She was more petite, with a hint of impish gentleness to her. She obviously had been fathered by someone else.

"I have come today to apologize to my son," Elizabeth said in a cracked voice, "that I was never there. Ten years, I left my son alone... in a country of war. He probably doesn't remember me at all."

"Ms. Gunthram..." Kyuui said softly, unsure of how to console her. Then she played the same thing her mother had: "Hanshou wouldn't want you to worry for him. Please, try to see sense."

Elizabeth blinked back tears and turned to Adalia. "Adalia, it's time to give your brother the rose. Do you still have it?"

"Yes," Adalia said softly, and followed her mother as she walked away.

* * *

April 9, 2033** 3:19 PM**_  
Home of Akane Kikenei  
7th Division Compound  
Seireitei

* * *

_

_You lean a little to the left or the right but  
__You can only see what's on your side__  
Look a little like a deer in the headlights  
A little blind, a little hypnotized

* * *

_

The sky had lowered itself down into a silken twilight. Akane let out a soundless breath and knocked softly on the door. A vague woodsy smell hung in the air and crickets chirped peacefully in the brush. The blonde's eyelids lowered as she enjoyed the quiet night.

Shuujarou opened the door and gave a soft smile. "You're home," he said benignly. In a fresh white robe and tabi socks, his hair was mussed as if he had been asleep.

"Hi," she said calmly. Rather than moving aside to let her in, Shuujarou closed the door and stepped onto the porch, and at this moment Akane became aware of their height difference. "What did you do today?"

"Nothing much, to be honest. What was your meeting about?" he asked, face hardening back to its serious mask. The sun's last orange rays lit up his heliotrope eyes.

She began thinking about that. "...Something really bad... Sakamesu-taichou was killed today." The words felt very morbid off of her tongue.

Shock burst across his visage. "A- what? How?" he couldn't have known her, but Shuujarou was still jarred by death. Sensing that Akane did not know, he rephrased it. "I mean, when did this happen?"

"I just found out about it this morning," she explained, taking a seat in the small chair near the door.

His awe transitioned roughly into a quiet sympathy. "Did you know her well?"

Akane shook her head. "No."

The night seemed to have taken on a hush as he sat down in the chair opposite her, the sunset tones in his eyes gone. A vicarious hand touched her own. "Akane..." he seemed to be struggling, and this was in no way a surprise. Shuujarou seemed quite awkward in these situations.

"It's okay," she said with a forced smile.

"No, it isn't." He frowned deeply, but was suddenly thoughtful. "How about this? Since I can't stop you from crying, maybe I could just help? I'll make dinner tonight instead."

"You can't cook," she reminded him.

"There's always room for improvement," Shuujarou said with a wry smile.

Akane tried to smile back."Not with you. Remember yesterday?"

"I try not to," he said with a laugh that took her off guard. Shuujarou's laugh was not hollow and caustic as she had imagined it, but somehow infectious. His face softened back down to a smile, and she couldn't help but grin again.

"Shuujarou?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?" she hated to take the conversation off such a light note, but her loyalty to Airika overrode her attitude toward happiness.

"Within reason," he said.

The feeling of her friend's warm hand prompted her to move on. "Well, since Sakamesu-taichou's killer is still on the loose... Captains and Vices have been ordered into the Living World." She met his eyes warily.

Shuujarou gave a taciturn nod. "Right," he said in a curt voice. "So, you're leaving...?"

"Well, I was thinking that since I've never been to the Living World before... and you..."

"You want me to go, too?" he asked, raising one dark eyebrow.

Akane nodded once and glanced at their hands, thinking about what her Captain had said earlier. _Ah, I think you may have a crush, Akane!_ Inwardly she rolled her eyes at the thought. She did not have a crush on Shuujarou. If she had, conversing with him--and feeling his touch--would be much more awkward for her. Sure, Shuujarou was a friend, but not a crush. Besides, what was he thinking about when he was staring off into the distance all the time? And what of the girl he wanted so badly to see--Kyuui?

"Well," he said after a few moments, "if you want me to go, then, I'll go with you. Why wouldn't I? You're going to need help."

"Yeah," she said in an agreeable tone. Her fingernails caught her attention, but she looked up. "Shuujarou?"

"Akane?" he blinked slowly.

"Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome."


	6. Glare

Paroxysm, an **xSilverWingsx **fanfic

_Tonight maybe we're gonna run__  
Dreaming of the Osaka sun  
Dreaming of when the morning comes.

* * *

_

April 12, 2033** 5:16 PM  
**_448 Shinjuku Avenue  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

After emerging from the rather large world gate that seemed to bruise my intestines, I was met by a torrent of bright sunlight. As I got over its initial burn, the world around came into focus. In front of us was a rather large house with a brick front and a large bay window at top center, with curtains slightly disturbed, as if a young man had stood and looked out for a moment. I felt thunderstruck. Why, of all places, would we enter the Living World in front of my former house?

Akane's expression was reflective as she took it in. "This is a beautiful house," she remarked in a tone that betrayed no lies. My throat ached with a sudden swelling as I looked at her and I diverted my attention to the house. As I slept in Soul Society, I had wondered if they had demolished the place. Apparently not.

"Yeah," I agreed.

Her expression bordered between confusion and agitation. "What's with the face? You look like you swallowed a lemon."

I reposed my face and lifted my left eyebrow. "Better?"

Akane smiled. "Better," she said, but looked again at the mansion. "I have a hunch about this house. What was your father's first name?"

Damn, she's too smart. "Nara," I replied a little too quickly, sliding a hand in my left pants pocket. I wore my military uniform that I had slept in. Before we had left Soul Society, Akane had made a point to sew the outfit, despite the fact that I wouldn't need it anymore.

She eyed the plaque on the gate. "'Shuujarou Manor'. This is your house," she said lightly, turning her navy eyes on me. "Right?"

I couldn't help but give a smile. "Yes, it's my house. Or, was. I lived here for ten years."

"Are we going in, or what?" she said with an impatient air. A small guttural noise escaped my throat in an expression of surprise, but she didn't pay attention to it. Instead, vivacious as she dared to be, Akane ran up the long staircase.

"Akane!" I hissed.

"It's your house," she insisted, approaching the door.

"Yes, but--"

"Not listening," she muttered, shortly before pounding the knocker with as much strength as she could muster.

I shut my eyes automatically, but after a few moments of silence they slid open in confusion. "There's no answer?" I had suspected at least Blanca, the maid, to be there.

"No," Akane said with a frown. Then she turned away. "Well, that sucked. I wanted to see your house." She trumped down the stairs with a dejected expression. Her ample, shell-pink lips squeezed together in a pucker of annoyance, pinching her cheekbones into an arc that molded her brow to a frown. My hand shot up, clutching the key that had been in my pocket for God knows how long. **What am I doing?**

"Then let's see the house." A phobia of upsetting Akane was beginning to bloom, and it was hideous to me. She was a mere friend of mine, and here I was fulfilling her every want, as if she were my lover.

The coral lips shifted to a smile. "That's nice of you."

The simplicity of the conversation was an afterthought. I didn't seem to realize how worked up I was getting over a simple request until we ascended the steps and her face was scintillating in happiness. Why did it upset me to make her happy? Was I that bad?

The key went in the door and the door swung open, revealing the elaborate foyer. A small wrought-iron table sat in the center of the room for guests to wait, but it had always been a moot point because we didn't entertain.

"I like this room," she said quietly. "But it's so empty in here. I thought you said you lived with your father.

"He's on deployment," I replied, touching a bronze of a turtle walking a dog. These were from the Meiji period, Naraki's pride and joy. "Is there anything you want to do here, in particular?"

She shook her head. "I just thought that this might be a good place for us to stay. You know, while we investigate."

**That's impossible. **"Akane, no. My father's staff lives here."

"That's sad," she said, looking around. "They're very nice things."

"Thank you." I bit down hard on my lip, feeling resentment on telling her that. Shortly after, the disgust again, but then something came to mind. My favorite guns lay upstairs, unblemished by the Black Market as of yet. "I'll be right back."

* * *

April 12, 2033** 5:23 PM**_  
Hanshou Shuujarou's bedroom  
448 Shinjuku Avenue  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

My room was the same as it had always been. The walls were a deep, bland shade of navy that had never really suited my taste. Bookcases stood at few-feet intervals, ending as they met next to a black desk with a thin white computer seated atop it. The device had obviously overheated. A stream of light fell in from the window, tracing crop circles in the pure white carpeting. I let out a contented sigh. **I'm lucky I get to see this before he sells it all. **

I stepped forward and opened the closet door. They still hung there clear as day, cool metal gleaming in the light. I breathed and smiled.

"Which is your favorite?" asked a subdued voice.

I pulled it down swiftly and turned to Akane, propping it across my hands. "This one." It was a rifle, a weapon usually more characterized for the hunt.

Her eyes were undisturbed by the firearm. "What kind?"

"This is an Armalite AR-18."

Without asking, she took the gun in her hands and stared at it. Surveying what seemed to be every nick on the gun, as well as the barrel and the magazine, Akane seemed satisfied. "It's a nice one," she concluded.

I found myself blinking in rapid succession. "You know about guns?"

"Yes. When I was young, I learned a lot. It's one of the few things I remember. What other brands do you have?"

"A lot of them. Beretta, Colt, Smith & Wesson... if you can think of it, I own one of them." I let off a certain air of pride as I discussed guns, but it was more effective on Kyuui, who knew absolutely nothing about them. Akane didn't seem remotely fazed.

"Anyway, Shuujarou," she got to her feet without hesitation, "I think we should go and try to find Shima now. He could be anywhere."

"Do you sense him?" I wasn't claiming to be an expert on these Soul Society things, but I had listened in on one or two of her phone conversations with Airika.

"I don't, to be honest. If you want, we can wait until I do." Akane bounced up and down on her heels. "But we need to hurry up and get out of here, because your father could be home at any time."

"What do you want to do until then?" I asked.

After a few moments, she took an incredulous look down at her shikakusho. "I can't walk around wearing this all the time, can I? Do people dress like this here?"

"Not quite," I said.

"Yominichi-taichou gave me 11600 yen for the trip. Do you think that would be enough to buy us some decent clothes?" when she said it, Akane seemed to be making a statement rather than a question. This intrigued me momentarily but I decided to answer the question rather than analyze it.

"More than enough, but I have clothes here. You can borrow some, even if they might be a little long, but save your money for more important things, like a place to stay." I was trying to prioritize for her, since Akane never seemed very organized in her own house.

Her eyes drifted to my dresser. "May I?"

"Go ahead."

Akane pulled open the dresser and looked inside for a few moments. "You're right, these will be long on me," she said in an oddly bouncy voice. "Do you want to take everything, since you need clothes too?"

"That would be good," I said. And I hated to admit to myself that when she leaned over again, I wound up admiring her behind. I gave a sigh of exasperation and stared at the wall instead, but it couldn't hold my attention. **Fucking hormones.**

"Okay, Shuujarou. We're done here, right?" she stood up, carrying a pile of clothes that stopped at her eye level.

"Yes," I said.

* * *

**I made a trade with the devil  
and he gave me your hand  


* * *

  
**

April 12, 2033** 5:49 PM**_  
Town Square  
Nantan City, Kyoto Prefecture, Japan_

_

* * *

  
_

"What's wrong, Haiso-san?"

Haiso let out a dark sigh and reposed her face to happiness. "There's nothing wrong, Gyakusetsu-taichou. I'm merely worried about our ability to work in this world."

Noboru stared at the sky. It was the same here. "Haiso, all that's different is the technology. People still act the same here."

"Do you really think so?" she asked.

He gave a wry smile. "I know so. Have you sensed anything yet?"

"Nothing but Misaki-taichou. He's a few miles away with Masato-san." Haiso looked ahead into a somewhat unfortunate neighborhood, but some thoughts bothered her. "Who was that person with Kikenei-fukutaichou?"

Noboru felt his face splinter in confusion. Who was that man... he had seemed very concerned, and yet he had stood rather close to Kikenei. "I have no clue, Haiso-san."

"I have a theory," she said, "that that's her lover or something. He's always with her, don't you notice?"

"I don't spend time watching Kikenei-fukutaichou," he said, "but you might be right."

Through a cloud of silvery hair, Haiso watched her Captain's surveillance of the sky. Lately he'd been concerned about obscure things. "Is everything all right, Captain?"

He turned his reddish eyes on her. "I'm fine, Haiso. Is everything all right with you?"

"Yes," she sighed, very aware of the fact that her Captain was lying. Everything about him was very hidden and difficult for her to wheedle through, especially his past. He had never told her anything. Maybe someday.

"Haiso, have you been practicing Kido lately? I fear our squad's gotten rusty."

"Yes, Captain."

"Have you been exercising?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Did you eat before we left?"

"Well, no... I didn't really think about that, I was more intent on packing to be honest." She had been up since three AM, getting everything together and making sure they were prepared. How could she make such a careless mistake?

He smiled. "It doesn't matter. I was just testing you."

Haiso first felt embarrassment, rather than amusement. "Oh, Captain."

* * *

_Say it ain't so  
I will not go  
turn the lights off  
carry me home_

_

* * *

  
_

April 12, 2033** 5:51 PM  
**_573 Umae Street  
Sapporo, Hokkaido Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

"Nii-chan, Nii-chan, Nii-chan!" Masato said impatiently.

"What is it?"

"You said we could go to the Outlet Mall!"

"I said that on the basis that you weren't getting on my last nerve," Haseo mumbled. "We only just got here. Try and chill out for a minute until I can get in contact with Gyakusetsu."

"Noboru-tan doesn't want to talk to you! He has a pretty lady!" he exclaimed, meowing right afterward.

Haseo rolled his saffron eyes and pulled out his cell phone. There were no alerts for Hollows or unordinary pressures. "If you like Haiso so much, go hit on her and stop being such a pain."

"Why are you being so mean to me lately?!" Masato grumbled. "I thought big brothers were supposed to be nice!"

"Yeah, sure." Haseo closed the phone and let out a breath of derision, gazing out across the cornfield. It had been said that they would all wind up in a different place, but somehow he pictured Raven near some kind of palace or whatever. That guy always seemed to have all the luck. Karin was somewhere near candy, he just knew it. "Masato, go find an Outlet Mall yourself if you wanna be entertained so badly. What do I look like, a walking carnival?"

It wasn't as if he didn't care about Masato. Ever since he'd met his Vice, Haseo had thought of him as good-hearted, but he treated everyone this way, even women. Women could be seriously annoying, especially when they tried to ride everything off as PMS. Bull, you can't have PMS all the time.

"Nii-chan, I don't think you're a carnival. You're not big enough," Masato said, his blue eyes wide and somewhat thoughtful. "I think of you as Nii-chan, and that's all there is."

"I should hope so," Haseo sighed. But then within his chest, there was a sharp, cold feeling--a recognizance of an extremely strong reiatsu.

* * *

_I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

* * *

April 12, 2033** 6:19 PM  
**_448 Shinjuku Avenue (Shuujarou Manor)  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

I should only go in for a second, Kyuui's inner mind chastised, and take a look around. 

She somehow found herself riding her bike along Shinseki Avenue, the street on which he had lived. Kyuui wore a white sundress over blue jeans and white sandals, and had pulled her hair back into a messy knot. Crimson strands curled around a snow-white face, giving her a gaunt look. She wished she had spent more time on her appearance - even if she was going to smash the dealers, she would still want to look good.

Eventually the brick house came into view, looming nostalgically as usual. Kyuui dropped a foot to the ground to halt her bike and slowly got off, fingering the key in her pocket morosely. Is this really such a good idea?

She quashed her inner mind and strode up the marble steps. As the house grew closer she wondered again but quickly dismissed it, jamming her key in the door. As it swung open all thoughts of leaving were nonexistent. But every part of her froze when she heard the voice that floated down from the next level. "

"It can't hurt to wear this one."

Impossible. Her throat had clamped shut and there were odd flashes of light undulating around her. That can't be him.

"You want me to change now?"

Kyuui felt flabbergasted by the second voice. It was light, fluid and very feminine. A woman - no, a girl. And then she felt more insane. Not only am I imagining Hanshou alive, but that he's got some girl in his room?

"If you want to," Hanshou replied.

"Well, turn your head," said the voice firmly.

The redhead felt she'd been kicked in the abdomen. What was going on with her mind? Did her brain feel the need to torment her every waking moment she was here?

"Fair enough." He sounded amused.

As if her body were curious, Kyuui found herself climbing the staircase. She would go up there, and there would be no one, and she could leave with peace of mind. Hanshou was dead. There was no doubt in her mind... until the volume of the voices intensified.

"I'm finished," said the girl in a final tone.

"Ah," Hanshou's voice said. "It isn't as big as you exaggerated."

"I wasn't exaggerating about anything, it's still gigantic."

Kyuui could hear everything perfectly when she reached the door. The hallucination had grown so ridiculous she just had to open the door.

Dear God. I can't... what?

Hanshou was there in his uniform, arms crossed and knees braced in their slightly parted position. He was just as tall and slender as she remembered. He was facing what appeared to be the source of the girl's voice.

She was small and sylphlike, and obviously well-built despite the long clothing on her frame. Her skin was a smooth white color and her hair was a soft pale blonde, in a ponytail that was somewhat messy. Her eyes were a large sky color as they met Kyuui's, widening.

"Shuujarou," she uttered from a petite mouth.

Hanshou turned on his heel and an abrupt breath of surprise escaped him. The wine eyes contracted first but then mirrored the girl's. "...Ky.. Kyuui?"


	7. Ambience

Paroxysm_,_ an **xSilverWingsx** fanfic

_I'm your trampoline,  
oh, you jump so hard, but I always catch your fall

* * *

_

April 12, 2033** 6:19 PM  
**_Town Square  
Minamata City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

"Haiso," Noboru said softly.

The silver-haired woman glanced up at her Captain, her eyes somewhat glassy. "Yes?"

"I've picked up Kikenei's reiatsu somewhere nearby, hers and that human's."

"Would you like me to track them?" she asked, flipping open her phone.

He nodded. Dim in the light of the sun, her cell phone indicated a red dot – that would be Kikenei – in Kumamoto City, just a few miles away. "If we are so close to her, doesn't that mean we're out of our assigned territory?"

"It would make more sense," he said lightly, "to call, but in lieu of realizing she was near us, I picked up a much stronger pressure."

Haiso was unsure of why she hadn't felt it herself. Her brow knitted. "...We aren't meeting up with Kikenei?"

"The point I sensed is with Kikenei, and to answer your question, yes, I think it would be a good idea to touch base with them. You know, Haiso... ever since that human has been in Soul Society," Noboru added, "things have been running out of the common round."

"They have changed, admittedly."

He watched her for a moment, his eyes softening as he took note of her cold expression. "Oh, Haiso. Do try and smile a bit."

She smiled, but it was somewhat empty. "We need to keep moving. The sun is setting."

* * *

April 12, 2033** 6:21 PM  
**_448 Shinjuku Avenue  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

A sudden slip from where  
We used to be a year ago  
A real-life script of how  
Our hands would hold and not let go

* * *

"You're a liar."

Shuujarou blinked, and upon doing so, was met with the image of a rigid Kyuui. "What are you talking about?"

Her eyes were painted over with anger, but somehow, he could tell that she was still thinking this over, quickly, wheedling things over in her head. Her arms were at her sides, flexed, as if she was going to punch him. "The dead don't just come back."

Akane looked at her with a sort of dimmed contempt. "And you would know?"

Kyuui looked surprised by the sudden remark. "I—I know enough! When you die, you're gone! There's no going back!"

"I've already explained this to you," Shuujarou said, fighting his conscience, trying to keep from yelling at her. "I'm not even dead, Kyuui. Akane here, she saved me, she brought me to--"

"Shuujarou." Akane cut across him fluidly. "There isn't any use explaining it to her if she doesn't want to hear it."

Shuujarou ignored her. "The Soul Society. Another plane of existence."

"I've never believed in those things," Kyuui said, getting more control over her emotions. "I don't believe in anything I can't see."

Akane raised her eyebrows. "Do you believe in scientific things? Air? You can't see that, either."

"Stuff that's just—it's— I don't believe in those things people only believe because they're desperate." Kyuui shook her head. "People only want to be happy. But—there's nothing after death." She was staring at Shuujarou, uncertainty potent in her pale eyes. She was vying desperately to believe the image she was seeing, but she obviously doubted it strongly.

"You don't believe me at all, Kyuui? Not even a bit?" He seemed shocked.

"They say that the eyes see what the heart wants them to," Kyuui said. "I'm probably imagining all of this. I'll wake up. Soon." The excitement in her eyes was visible behind her skepticism.

"You're not asleep," Akane said, her eyebrows still bent into a frown. "You're afraid, is all."

"I'm not," the redhead insisted. "I'm dreaming of Hanshou, that's enough for me... I'm going to make it last as long as I can."

Shuujarou was unsure of what to do. He could continue to argue with Kyuui and get nowhere, but... he couldn't tell her anything. She would never leave him to do what he needed. And that was to join the Academy. He met Akane's eyes, which were just as confused as his own, and sighed. "Kyuui, what do you want me to do?"

"Stay with me," she insisted. "Like you always promised you would."

Anguish broke across his face. "Kyuui, you've _got to understand. _I--"

_I can't watch this. _"Shuujarou has important business to take care of." Akane strode in front of him and crossed her arms. "You know. The things you don't believe in." She straightened her back and reposed her features.

Kyuui frowned. "What do you mean, business?"

"I won't explain it," Shuujarou said, finding his voice cracked, as he looked at Akane's rigor-mortis glare. He wasn't sure why, but she seemed to have a powerful hatred for Kyuui already. Was she jealous? She couldn't be. "Akane?"

"Yes?" she asked loftily.

"You seem angry." He was wondering why he was more intrigued by Akane's apparent jealousy than upset over Kyuui's pain.

"I'm not. I'm just speaking the truth." Akane's blue eyes were as cold as she could make them. She didn't care nearly as much about the truth as she did about Shuujarou's well being. She had grown strongly attached to him. "Miss Kyuui," she grounded out. "Please try and see sense. He would give anything to be with you. But that just..."

"Can't happen." Kyuui nodded. "I know, he's told me so many times before. You don't have to remind me."

Akane realized how Kyuui had perceived her words. "Oh, n--I didn't mean romantically--"

"Akane, please," Shuujarou cut her off desperately. "Can we not lapse into that right now?" They locked eyes.

She returned his gaze submissively at first, and then earnestly. "Okay. Fine. Kyuui, he's... he's helping me out with something right now."

An odd look crossed the redhead's face. "What something are you helping her with, Hanshou?"

"It's something only people in the Soul Society are to know about. Honestly." Shuujarou tilted his head downward.

Kyuui stared at him. "I never thought you'd keep anything from me, especially not anything that you're doing with a _girl_," she said poisonously, shooting Akane a look.

_You stupid bitch. I'm--_Akane felt a vibration in her pocket, and she saw two additional red dots right on top of hers.

"Shuujarou, incoming."

"What?"

Shortly after the word left his mouth, there was a light thump from overhead. Looking around wildly, he deduced that it had come from the roof, and sprinted toward his balcony. Akane followed swiftly, climbing the fire escape in his wake.

"We're intruding, Captain..."

"Oh, Haiso, I wouldn't think of it _that _way..."

"Gyakusetsu-taichou!" Akane exclaimed, gasping for air as she finally reached the roof.

"Kikenei-san, we're here to inform you that you need not take any more action at this time," Noboru said, and Shuujarou felt a strange rush of feelings. "Yominichi-taichou is dealing with the situation."

Akane remembered Airika, feeling deeply worried. "She's in battle?"

"Misaki-taichou alerted us, told us he had spotted Shima. Yominichi went to assist him, and they were ambushed shortly afterward." Haiso stood beside her captain, arms locked behind her back like an iron maiden. "I am to be called in if reinforcements are needed." His eyes flicked to Shuujarou, who felt a spike of fear, but they moved away.

"What am I to do in the meantime?" she asked, looking both relieved and disappointed.

"You will stay with your—" his eyes met Shuujarou's again— "comrade— until things are sorted out." He looked away.

"Ah—who is that?" Haiso asked sharply, her eyes a few feet away from Shuujarou. He and Akane noticed Kyuui, and holding onto the door. "Another human?"

"Kyuui, go back in the house." Shuujarou's expression was livid.

"I want to know what's going on," she insisted.

Noboru regarded Kyuui with curious eyes. "You've informed others, Hanshou Shuujarou?"

"Shuujarou hasn't done anything wrong," Akane said placidly. "This girl—" she shot Kyuui a look of pure loathing— "Just stuck her nose where she shouldn't have."

Kyuui looked on the verge of tears. "I just wanted—I wanted—" she broke off, holding her head in both hands.

Misty-eyed and still, Shuujarou was unsure of what to do. Console Kyuui? Consort with the Shinigami? In his mind, there was nothing but a tornado of confusion. He knew that in this world, people were stepped on. But could he do it to Kyuui, willingly? A lump rose in his throat, swelling and making its way to the top, so he swallowed it, his muscles constricting, and said, "I'm sorry, Kyuui."

She blinked, her eyes suddenly huge. "Hanshou?"

Akane's hard demeanor crumbled away. "Shuujarou, no."

He looked at her then. "It's the only good thing that could come out of this situation."

"What is?" Kyuui asked, desperation evident in her voice. "What are you talking about!?"

Noboru remained quiet, but minutely interested. His eyes moved from one person to the other, pondering. These children were having some form of internal battle with one another, but at this point, he was unsure of the details. Haiso wondered, too, but kept her mouth shut.

The sun had fully set at this point, twilight on its heels. Shuujarou looked at Kyuui, her forlorn expression, her shaking hands. "Kyuui. Don't guilt me." In the wake of his sadness, he was turning mean. "If you had any real reasons, you wouldn't have to do this. Simply saying you don't believe isn't enough."

"What do you mean?" she took a step closer.

"Don't contradict yourself. You think you're dreaming, don't you?"

She bit her lip. "I... don't know... I must be." She still had one hand in her hair, as if touching her head would bring her questions into better light. "But I don't want to be."

Haiso cut in. "We cannot have humans knowing about our operations," she said, facing Akane. "One is enough."

Akane felt like a spectator to her own life. What should she do? The repercussions of letting Kyuui carry on asking questions were unthinkable, because she didn't seem very subtle about anything, and would undoubtedly tell countless people. But what would Shuujarou do if her memories were erased? Would he hate her? She, Akane?

"Shuujarou," she said, without any particular inflection. When he looked at her, she said, "What do you... feel the need to do?"

The dark-haired boy was looking back and forth at everyone, a dark, unreadable look in his slanted eyes. Emotions shot across them: confusion, anger, desperation. "I can't think well right now."

"We understand your feelings, but it is crucial that the Soul Society's business be kept secret, away from human eyes." Noboru strode closer to them.

"I'm a human," he said tonelessly.

"You appear to be a special case," Haiso explained. "Your reiatsu is far beyond that of a regular human."

After getting over the initial shock of that statement, Shuujarou said, "So I have no choice. What are you going to do to her?"

"It's harmless," Haiso said. "We'll simply erase her memories of today's events, and replace them with benign ones."

"She'll be completely naïve to the idea of your return," Noboru elaborated, noting Shuujarou's confused expression. "In her eyes, this day would never have happened."

"No, wait." Kyuui said. "I don't want to forget about Hanshou."

"You won't forget Shuujarou," Akane said, "just the things that happened today." As it happened, she was rather intrigued by Kyuui Miesutomo – other than her obvious penchant for Shuujarou, who didn't even take her seriously, she seemed a put-together young woman. However, intrigue was not enough to trump loyalty. She lifted her eyes from the ground and looked back over at the rigid young man.

He seemed stony, resolute. "Kyuui." He said it quietly, but there was no hiding the sadness in his voice. "It'd be best if you do what they say."

Kyuui's face did not change. "Hanshou..."

_She's STILL guilting him!_ Akane snapped in her head. _Manipulative witch of a girl._

Despite her predictions, Shuujarou was stalwart in his decision. "Kyuui, listen to them. It won't do you any good to refuse." His chilly, quiet voice was back again. Akane was surprised for the umpteenth time; Kyuui, she had thought, was the one thing that destroyed his facade. Apparently not...

She whipped the tiny silver object, much like a cigarette lighter in its contour, from inside her shikakusho. Akane decided that if she gave it more thought, she might be averted from her original decision. She pointed it toward the shaking young woman and clicked the button, engulfed by the almost comical cloud of smoke and the loud noise that accompanied it.

Shuujarou's coughing was the loudest thing she heard – he did have asthma, after all – as the haze around them dispersed into the night. Kyuui lay crumpled on the shingles.

"She's asleep?" Akane asked herself in a whisper, looking as confused as she felt.

"The alteration of memories effects people in different ways, depending on personality and tolerance of mental change." Noboru appraised Kyuui. "This one's heart is not strong enough to hold fully. She will sleep until the alteration takes full effect."

Shuujarou closed his eyes, facing the ground. "And until then?"

"Until then," Haiso answered, "It is best to make it seem as if nothing has changed from the previous day." As a breeze shifted across the roof, her silvery hair swayed.

Having been watching Haiso and Noboru, Akane didn't notice that Shuujarou had hoisted Kyuui into his arms. The sight made her brow crease.

"Kyuui's not very resilient," he said, so quietly that only the blonde could hear, "In situations like this. I hope... it works."

"It will work," Noboru said, startling the dark-haired young man. Apparently, his hearing was top-notch. "Don't underestimate any that you see."

Perturbed, Shuujarou didn't meet Noboru's eyes. "I understand," he said in a harsh whisper, looking back down at the sleeping girl in his arms. "You'd like me to take her home?"

"That would be best." Having concluded his business with the humans and Kikenei, Noboru turned his back on them. Haiso followed obediently, but with a quiet dignity. Before the two could disappear into the night, her cell phone beeped.

"An incoming call," she said, her tone almost impossible to decipher. "Hello, this is Ginhane...? Yominichi-taichou?"

Akane's heart jumped. _Airika! Holy shit_! She wanted very badly to scream, to ask what was going on, but didn't. Instead, she listened.

Haiso's eyes expanded in pure, uncensored shock. "What?" she asked cryptically. "I wasn't informed... that he was powerful enough to..." she glanced at her Captain, whose own eyes were painted over with worry and confusion. Akane tried to exchange some form of look with her, but did not succeed. "I—all right, I understand." She closed her phone, standing motionlessly for a few moments. "Captain Misaki and Captain Yominichi have failed. Shima escaped."

* * *

April 12, 2033** 7:09 PM  
**_573 Umae Street  
Sapporo, Hokkaido Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

"Did you bring your—"

Raking the sweaty hair out of her eyes, Caitlin cut across, "I have." She pulled out her numerous bandages and scattered them haphazardly across the ground, cradling the head of the motionless Haseo Misaki. He was not dead – a glimmer of his reiatsu still remained, but she couldn't afford to take chances.

"What frightens me," said Captain Yominichi, her pale blue eyes somber, "Is that he barely had time to draw his zanpakuto..." Her voice, usually calm and emotionless, was shaky.

Caitlin had heard of Captain Misaki's zanpakuto – with the notoriety that surrounded the young man, it was nearly impossible not to – and had been anticipating its release. What she had not counted on, though, was the strength of the enemy.

She tried very hard not to look at Masato, who was sitting Indian-style a few shingles away, his eyes flooded with tears. It occurred to her that she should tell him that his older brother – or so he had called him – had not been killed, but had a feeling that it would upset him further.

Captain Yominichi's eyes narrowed. "I also can't believe how... how little we've prepared. He escaped so quickly."

Wiping the blood from Captain Misaki's temples, Caitlin's hand trembled. As a simple medic, she had no right to discuss wartime matters with Captain Yominichi. Fear didn't spare her, though; she worried greatly, and of course, the wound of her own Captain's death was still very fresh.

She focused on Haseo. He had suffered a compound fracture in his right arm when he had fallen, as well as miscellaneous puncture wounds across his body. He was one of the strongest... her sense of panic heightened, a lump rising in her throat as she saw his zanpakuto, lying nearby, dropped before he could even make use of it.

Captain Gyakusetsu and Vice-Captain Ginhane arrived at that moment. "What happened?" the former asked briskly, bending his neck to survey the damage.

"He lives," Captain Yominichi said simply, but a shakiness lingered in her usually smooth voice. "The enemy performed... some form of hit and run, but he has suffered minimal injury."

"We can assume that they are planning their attack," Captain Gyakusetsu said quietly. "And that they are not dormant."

Caitlin swallowed and tightly bandaged Haseo's arm as fast as she could, but not before the young man moaned.

"Stop," he said, his catlike eyelids sliding upward. "You're making it worse."

A strangled gasp escaping her, Caitlin could do nothing but stare at him. How could he be so callous... when she was working so hard to help? Anger welling up, she said, "Yes, Captain," and let the bandage fall limp.

"Nii-chan?" Masato said shakily. "Are you okay?"

Haseo's sharp eyes fell upon his de facto brother. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said hoarsely, curling his lips into a wry smile. "Pretty good for what just happened."

"Y-you shouldn't be talking, Misaki-t-taichou," Caitlin spluttered, struggling not to meet his gaze. Mercifully, Haseo listened and was silent.

"Vice-Captain Kikenei and her human are two miles west," Haiso said promptly.

Captain Yominichi's face alleviated with relief. "Akane has proven capable," she said softly, her eyes adrift as she surveyed the dark skyline. "I would've thought things much less..." her brow creased, but she didn't show any other sign of being flustered. "Dangerous."

"What should we do now?" Haiso asked, glancing at her Captain.

"Right now, we wait." He closed his eyes. "It may seem tiresome, but it would be foolish to leave them alone in this world. And while we are waiting..."

"It would be wise to train, obviously," Airika finished, still facing the sky.

"You don't realize how strong they are, do you?" Haseo bit out, his head still cradled in her lap. "To harness that power would take years. As I see it, we're screwed."

Masato sighed. "Nii-chan is always right..." he murmured.

"Don't be so pessimistic," Airika replied frostily.

"It's called realism." Haseo closed his eyes.

"What really intrigues me is that the enemy neglected to exhibit his powers in Soul Society," Gyakusetsu said. "One strong enough to single-handedly defeat--" Haseo scoffed-- "Or, nearly defeat a Captain, is certainly worth deliberation."

"Worth deliberation?" Haseo's eyes tightened. "We're all dead if we don't get rid of him soon. Hell, who's to say there isn't more than one?"

Noboru pursed his lips. "Pessimism is often justified."

Airika made a small noise in the back of her throat. "Someone should contact Imasuki-genryusai, and inform him of everything that just happened."

Haiso was already dialing away on her phone, speaking in a low voice. Caitlin glanced down at Haseo, whose head was still propped on her lap. He frowned and turned to the side. "At any rate, what are we supposed to do in this world for... however long we're here?"

"Ah, I-I don't know," she said shakily, her eyes flitting away from him and onto Airika, who was one of the only female Captains she knew. The beautiful woman did not respond to her stare, she merely looked at the sky again.

Caitlin blinked as Akane Kikenei appeared, her outline blurred for the faintest moment. "Captain, what's going—"

"Akane," Airika said softly. "We're going to have to remain here until all of this conflict is resolved."

"How? What conflict?" Caitlin could almost hear Akane's brain whirring.

"Shima and his followers."

Akane's eyes expanded. "I don't understand."

"Vice-Captain Kikenei," Noboru cut across. "We understand how you're feeling, but please do try and keep your questions to yourself until we have credible answers to them."

The blonde's lips twisted incomprehensibly, then she lowered her head in a brisk nod. "Right. Forgive my incompetence."

"Desire to learn is not incompetence," the jade-haired Captain replied with a smile.

"I want to know as much as the next person why the hell they're suddenly so strong," Haseo muttered lowly. "I want action."

"Captain Misaki, you will fight when the time comes," Haiso said placidly, her eyes half closed as she gazed vacantly at the snowy-haired Captain. "We all will." She was aware of how futile this seemed, how long it would take to train up to Shima's level... these things intimidated her on a level she wasn't even able to delve into.

Haseo sighed. "Yeah, yeah," he said faintly, his bloodstained hair hanging over his eyes. It occurred to Kaitlin that he was still hurt, and that she was supposed to be paying attention to him. But hadn't he told her not to? She was confused.

Airika sighed. "Akane, where is Shuujarou?"

"He's taking that girl home," the blonde said simply.

"Well, you need to go and get him, then."

"I can't. He's with Kyuui."

Airika's brow twisted. "Kyuui?"

"The human's lover," Haiso said quietly. "We altered her memories."

"So... why is he with her?" Airika blinked spastically.

"I instructed him to right the girl," Noboru said promptly, his eyes shifting from one woman to the other. "Kikenei, you should retrieve him and sort out a place to stay. Everything will be fine." In his mind, Noboru thought it would be prudent to smile at her, but he couldn't bring himself to. It was wrong to lie to the girl, even in the most minute of ways.

"Where is that? Shuujarou's house is ," Akane protested.

"A hotel would be suitable," Haiso put in. "You can stay there for a relatively small price. You've brought money with you, I presume?"

"She has," the brunette Captain confirmed. "Akane?"

"Yes, taichou?"

Airika's large blue eyes were somewhat gentle. "Make sure he's all right for me."

* * *

**I may be some sort of crazy****  
We may be some sort of crazy  
But I swear on everything I have and more

* * *

**

April 12, 2033** 7:59 PM  
**_448 Shinjuku Avenue  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

Kyuui wasn't as heavy as Shuujarou remembered; it was a lot like holding a small child as he carried her down the fire escape, watching his feet intently so as not to trip. She was like a doll; pretty enough to be wanted, but ineffably breakable. A frown locked itself onto his regal brow; perhaps she would move on with her life with the knowledge that he could no longer reside in it?

His upper lip stiffened. Obviously, Kyuui held fast to things that she loved, and it was arduous for her to let anything go. She would pine over his memory, neglect her studies and family life, sit up at night, and ruin the rest of her adolescence. That was the way Kyuui was.

Unable to think of a better place, Shuujarou tucked Kyuui into his own bed. Spikes of memory told him that he and Akane would have to find another place to stay until she left, but it failed to faze him.

The young man gnashed his teeth. All this time, he hadn't seen how much she truly cared for him. The life he had had here, in Japan, alive – had burned to ashes. If he hadn't been so foolish, hadn't ran outside with Tanaka, he would not be involved with the Soul Society, would not be taxing Akane's loyalties, would not have left Kyuui behind.

He shut the door quietly, leaning against the back of it. His hair obscured his eyes as he stared through the hallway, which seemed fathomless in the dark. He slid down the door, coming to rest on the floor.

Shuujarou stared at his hands. So much he had planned to do with them, so many ambitions to build up to... but it seemed that all he had done was draw blood. The blood of all who had opposed him, and in the end, his own.

He realized where his mind was taking him: to self-destruction. The only way he could control what was happening to him. Common sense struck; there wasn't any way he could allow himself to fall back into that pattern, for when he was finished, his problems were still there, clear as day. It was unreasonable and pointless. And yet..

There was a soft swooshing noise from a few feet away. Birds often flew about outside, so he didn't look up until he heard Akane's voice.

"Shuujarou," she said softly.

"Yes, Akane..." he dredged up, feeling jabs of regret for getting her into trouble earlier.

She was quiet for a moment. "What's wrong?"

How he loathed that question. "Nothing."

Akane's eyes surveyed Shuujarou. He was sitting against the door, despondent and unstable, his thin legs shaking erratically. "I don't like it when you play games with me," she said saliently.

"I'm not playing games," he said hollowly. "...Akane."

The blonde's cheeks tightened. "I..." she probed her mind for anything that would evoke relief from Shuujarou, but it was devoid of such things. She reasoned that if she could not mentally calm him, it would make sense to comfort him physically.

She lowered herself to the ground, approaching the tremulous youth with no abandon, so as not to trepidize him. He looked up at her, his eyes simultaneously curious and downtrodden with sorrow. "Akane," he repeated.

Akane slid her arms around his thin torso, her hands on his back. "You're shaking," she observed. "Tell me what's wrong with you."

"I can't." He closed his eyes.

"I won't beg you," she said simply, her lips quivering as she sat on his lap, lowering her head to his shoulder. He shivered noticeably at her touch. "Just tell me when you know how."

"I..." he swallowed. "I suppose I'm just hoping I'll wake up and this will all just be a dream... but I know it isn't."

She was quiet for a long while, breathing steadily against the rhythm of his rapid heart. "That is also my wish."

They sat there, his quaking hands pressed desperately against the small of her back, her cheek to his, his eyes smashed shut in denial of tears.

A broken man and a sympathetic woman.

_(or)_

Partners in humanity.


	8. Ties

**asdfghjkl; Argh, finally a new chapter... sorry I took so long. . Just letting you know, these next few chapters will be mostly action-less [/obvious], focusing on the personalities and relationships of the characters. They seem a bit cookie-cutter like at the moment, and they need to be fleshed out some more, so... :3 yeah.**

**Who hates winter? I sure do. I never have time to write during this season, because I'm usually hiding under my blanket, trying to ignore how freezing it is, or working on the ENDLESS homework that's heaped on us at exam time. So, yeah. Don't kill me for not updating, even though you CAN'T kill me, seeing as you don't know where I live ;D**

**Also, there are a TON of miscellaneous character slots that need to be filled. I won't tell you what the roles are exactly, because that's half the fun! So submit a character if you wish. If not, that's fine. :D I know the story is going very slowly, but as I said before... characters, people, characters. I'm getting more familiar with them by writing these filler chapters. There'll be action soon, I say! -idiotic pose-**

**People we meet this chapter:**

**-Ame Enkaikaze**

**Anyways, massive thanks to all those who reviewed/submitted characters last time. I love you with all my fangirly heart~!**

**This is the end of the longest author's note **_**ever. **_**Enjoy the chapter.**

**[/xSilverWingsx]

* * *

**

Paroxysm, an **xSilverWingsx** fanfic

**Come ride with me, through the veins of history  
I'll show you how god... falls asleep on the job.  


* * *

**

.-. Akane's thoughts/lyrics are _Italic  
_ .-. Shuujarou's thoughts/lyrics are **Bold  
**.-. Kyuui's thoughts/lyrics are Underlined

* * *

April 13, 2033** 12:19 AM  
**_Yamasu Inn  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

Akane took a seat on the bed, burying her head in her hands. "This Shima business is really annoying," she said.

"Can you expect anything different?" Shuujarou was staring out the window, his black eyebrows contorted into a frown.

She looked up at him, asking a question she already knew the answer to. "Are you still upset over what's-her-face?"

**Well, she's perceptive. I'll give her that.**

When she said it, Akane expected him to blow up at her. But he just sighed, crossed his arms, and looked at his feet.

"I'm irritated. I can never do anything without her trying to get involved." He turned around, leaning against the glass. "Thanks for erasing her memory. I can't believe I didn't ask you to do it sooner..."

The blonde looked at him, and tried to smile. She had only known Kyuui for half a day and hated her, but it upset her that Shuujarou was willing to talk badly about her already. "Well, you know. Most people don't think it's a very good idea." Since his eyes were so dark, she couldn't tell if he was watching her or not.

"And thank you for comforting me back there. I really don't know what came over me." He smiled faintly. "I guess I'm as overwhelmed as you are by all of this."

"I'd think you would be, more," she remarked. "I mean, you've only been with us for a few weeks, and suddenly, this happens."

**Tell me about it. **"I really don't mind." He looked down at his feet, and Akane stood up, her hair wisping around her face. He looked up at her, his amaranthine eyes expectant.

Her mouth became a hard line. "Listen to me, Shuujarou."

He blinked. "What is it?"

The words spilled forth before she could control them."Look, I just want to know... what do you think of her? Cast aside your annoyance, and tell me really, how do you feel about Kyuui?"

He blinked, but then smiled crookedly. "Why the sudden curiosity?"

Akane sighed. _If he wants me to say it so badly, I will!_ "Because it annoys me. I don't like watching her freak out over you. It gets under my skin." She sounded oddly matter-of-fact about it.

His smile faded, and she wondered if that really was disappointment clouding his eyes, or if she was just imagining it. "Well, we're friends, and that's all we'll ever be. She wants more, and I don't." He said it simply, and that only irritated her more. But she didn't dare voice her opinion, or she would wind up looking jealous.

"I was just wondering." Akane kept her voice level. "Anyways, how are we going to work out the sleeping situation? There's only one bed."

"And a couch," Shuujarou pointed out.

So simple. So infuriating. Akane didn't understand why she wanted him to argue so badly -- his compliance made her wanted to claw her eyes out. "Fine," she said in a cutting voice.

He seemed startled. "Did you want the couch?"

"No, I didn't. Sleep wherever you want, Shuujarou." Her tone was enough to snip any man's vocal chords, but that was not the case here.

"That won't work, seeing as I want the bed. I just thought I'd be a gentleman." He rolled his eyes. "Maybe that's wasted on you."

"_You!_ You're too much of a gentleman. Will you ever just let loose?"

"I'm not going to fight with you, if that's what you're asking."

"No normal teenage boy is as well-mannered as you, is all I'm saying. I don't care if you want to act normal, Shuujarou."

"This is normal for me."

_I might kill you... _She stood up, crossing the room. "I'm changing my clothes."

"Fine." He sat.

Once in the bathroom, Akane let out a long breath. What was _wrong _with him? He acted like he had a stick up his ass. She wondered what he was like without that facade, without his good breeding, but she couldn't imagine it. And then she began to think. Why did she even care? He was just another lowly human, one she'd rescued and was now stuck with under Airika's orders. She didn't have to over-analyze his personality and berate him for it. And yet, she couldn't stop.

She yanked on one of his overlong shirts, and realized that it smelled like him--a faint, musty scent, like lavender. _What the hell is wrong with me? I'm acting obsessive. _The shirt hung to her knees, long enough to wear without pants. Good, because she'd left them in her bag anyway.

Akane stretched, feeling the gummy skin of her gigai strain as her muscles contracted and expanded. She hated these artificial bodies. In her opinion, it would be much better to move around inconspicuously as a Shinigami--but then, Airika had told her it would be necessary to go shopping. And if she was going to make any headway in searching for Shima, it would be a good idea to interact with the locals.

Her feet padded across the tile floor as she stepped to the mirror. With one look at herself, she nearly groaned. Her hair was all over the place, falling out of her ponytail, curling around her face. Had she not noticed this before? Dark circles lingered under her eyes, and there was an overall tired look about her. With much difficulty, she pulled out her hair tie and let her hair fall around her shoulders, curly and wild. She turned away from the mirror.

When she returned to the bedroom, Shuujarou had turned off one of the lamps, and the moon cast shadows across the room. She saw him standing in the corner, staring out the window again, and rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Shuujarou," she said, her voice almost nonexistent.

He turned toward her then. "Akane, there's a full moon tonight."

_Really. Seriously. I have no pants on. And he talks about the lunar cycle. _"Well, I hope you sleep well." She had to restrain herself to keep from slapping him, ridiculously. Akane felt delirious with irritation as she slid into the small bed, pulling the covers over her as her body got used to it. "And don't wander out of here while I'm sleeping."

"Why would I?" he asked softly, sounding only mildly interested.

She laid her head against one of the starchy pillows. "I don't know. If, let's say, you wanted to go and visit someone."

"I have no one to visit," he said, "and if you'll recall, I'm supposed to be dead."

"If I were you, I would actually try and make a new life for myself," she said. "Leave the country, change your name."

"No one would be able to see me," he pointed out. "I'd think you would know that." A quiet chuckle escaped him.

She felt herself redden. In the darkness, Shuujarou was more infuriating. "I do know that. I'm stressed-out." _And you're not making it any easier, you know-it-all. _

"Mmmmmm." She heard him sit on the couch. "Aren't we all."

_What's up with the sudden arrogance? _"What do you plan to do all day tomorrow, while I'm out? Just sit around?"

"I'll probably be drawing. You may not know this about me, but I'm one hell of an artist." That cockiness was back again. She hadn't even known that he'd possessed it, but now that she'd opened the door, he'd keep returning to it.

_Okay, seriously. This is... odd. _"Really?"

"Yes. I've got a few drawings with me, if you want to see them."

"Not really."

"Whatever you want," he said airily, unaffected.

Silence engulfed them for awhile. Akane had never been this annoyed by Shuujarou; was he acting like this because she'd told him to loosen up? Or was she just being paranoid? Why the hell did this bug her so much?

"Why was Kyuui able to see us?" he asked suddenly, sounding thoughtful.

Akane's eyes flew open. _How did I not notice...?! _"Some humans can," she said. "It's really not a big deal..." she wondered if the effects of her Memory Eraser would fade off, like they usually did when a person had high spiritual pressure. _Christ, I hope not. Then she'll follow us around... and Shuujarou will... _

_I need to stop being such a bitch about this. It's not getting me anywhere. _

"Still, I find it odd..." he trailed off with a sigh. "Honestly, I wish she'd have forgotten about me. It would save her a lot of heartache."

"Mmmmm." Akane buried her face in the pillow, trying to erase Kyuui from _her _memories. "How long have you known her again?"

"We're childhood friends... or, were." He sounded wistful, but his voice was dry, flat. "Do you remember any of your friends from when you were alive?"

"I don't remember much of anything, other than the fact that my father was a military man... and things concerning guns... I think it's selective memory, you know. Things we could use in the future. We forget most everything else."

"How on earth are you going to use guns? You've got that zanpakuto..."

"I'm not sure why I remembered, but there must be a reason. But if there's one thing we Shinigami remember, it's our deaths. "

**How bizarre. **"How old are you, Akane?"

She felt burdened by the question, and suddenly the pillow felt like hot, suffocating fur. Akane shifted so she could look at the ceiling. "I died shortly after the Berlin Wall fell."

"You're not very old then," Shuujarou stated. "Odd. I asked your friend, Oreni, and she told me that she was nearly six hundred."

"She died only shortly after the Americas were discovered. You'd think that at that age she'd have better control over herself." She shook her head.

"I don't understand. Why on earth would you remember your death, of all things? That seems insanely morbid. And the fact that you all know when one another died... is even worse."

"When you're stuck with people for eternity, you need a wide range of conversational topics." Akane fidgeted with one of the buttons on the borrowed shirt. "Anyway, what do you talk about with Kyuui? You don't seem to have anything in common, besides each other."

"We joke, we tell stories, we reminisce. We do everything normal friends do. Having things in common doesn't have anything to do with it," he said firmly. Akane raised her eyebrows.

"Why are you getting so angry? Just a second ago, you wanted her to forget all about you."

He switched on the light, and she saw that he was livid. "You know what, Akane? You don't know the first thing about friendship, let alone love."

_He just insulted me. _Akane's chest locked up. "Oh, really?"

"Really." He narrowed his eyes. "And stop being so bitter over Kyuui. She didn't do anything to you."

_Yes, she did. _"She's immature."

"You're being immature," Shuujarou shot back. "Go to sleep, Akane." **She's certainly changed since we first met... she used to be so shy. And you think you know someone...**

She sat up. "I'm not being immature. I just don't like Kyuui. I have no right to say it, but she gets under my skin."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Shuujarou spoke in a way that suggested he'd given up on the conversation. "Good night, Akane."

"I'm not sleeping," she said defiantly. "I want to talk to you."

"About?"

"About... anything."

"Is this just because you can't sleep, or do you really want to talk to me?"

"A mixture of both."

"I see." Shuujarou stood up, pulling the blanket off himself, and strode over. The mattress dipped as he sat down on the bed. "Now, what do you want to talk about? If it's going to make me angry, I have no interest in it." His eyes were weary.

Akane suddenly felt like a cretin. Surely, now he thought she was annoying. _I'm usually not this much of a bitch, really, Shuujarou... "_If you wound up at the Academy, what squad would you want to be in once you graduated?"

"The seventh, because of you and Yominichi-taichou," he said without hesitation. "I don't want to be anywhere near Oreni, in essence."

"She likes you."

"I know that," he sighed. "But I just _couldn't._"

"You never know, maybe you could."

"Hmph! Believe me, I couldn't." He said, smiling at her. "I don't... necessarily--"

_Oh, shit. He's not... "_Are you... gay?"

A low laugh escaped him. **Not even close. **"No, I'm not gay. I just don't like the idea of being with a girl who's all about me, all the time.."

"I see." Akane's face felt hot. She stared at the comforter. _Crap. If he was gay, this whole problem with Kyuui would be solved. _"Do you... like redheads, as a rule?"

"I don't like any specific hair color." With a thin hand, he tugged at his collar. "What's with the sudden questions, Akane? Are you interviewing me for a blind date?"

"A what?" she asked, confused.

"Nothing." He shook his head.** Of course she wouldn't understand that.. **"I'm just wondering why you want to know all about my preferences." Like Akane, Shuujarou wasn't exactly good at hiding his nervousness.

"Oh, well, you know." Akane rested her head against the pillow again. "I like to hear those things about people. It's interesting."

"In what way?"

_He's relentless. "_I don't know. I'm fascinated by relationships, I guess. And since you're so closed-off all the time, I wondered if you even _had _preferences."

"Every man has preferences, no matter what they tell you." Shuujarou watched Akane play with a loose curl of her hair. **She's so absentminded. Or is she nervous? I can't tell. **_"_I myself... like girls who pay attention to me."

"Mmmm." Akane yawned, feigning disinterest. _This is childish, but he is a teenager after all... which reminds me... why am I thinking like this? _She felt like a pedophile. But it didn't really count, since neither of them were alive, right?

"They also have to be level-headed."

"Well, of course." The blonde tapped at the pillow's soft surface. "That goes without saying."

"Kyuui most certainly does not fit that criteria," Shuujarou said, and a surge of pride swept Akane up before she could even blink. "She's a child, emotionally."

"Obviously." Akane felt a smirk pull at her lips, but she wouldn't let it go beyond that. She didn't want him to take another turn to negative town. "You need a girl who actually gets you."

"A girl that I can both be friends with, and be with romantically..." **We're still talking about this...? Why aren't we discussing Shima? Worse, why would I **_**rather **_**discuss this? **

"That's not hard to find," said Akane. "Anyone you're compatible with as a friend, you could potentially be with romantically... if you like them that way, of course."

"Yes, I suppose," he said curtly. "But, in fact, what if you like the person as a friend, but the prospect of being with them in that way utterly terrifies you?"

_You had better not be talking about me, you bastard. _"You have to find out what terrifies you about that person, and then come to face that. If it's something you can't get over, maybe it just wasn't meant to be."

His eyelids lowered a bit. "That's what confuses me about romance. Is it really necessary to have so many rules? Can't you just love and be loved?"

"It's not that simple."

He didn't respond, he just laid back on the bed, his shadowy eyes darting about. "I just wish _something _in my life were simple."

"Love is definitely not going to be it," Akane remarked, and hearing his infectious laugh made a smile appear on her previously taut lips.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier," he said, as his breaths escaped erratically. "I wasn't thinking, you know?"

"It's fine," she said in a mellow voice. _I find it impossible to stay mad at him. Maybe I'm just weak._ "We're both a little burned out, you know. We need some sleep."

He craned his neck to look at her, a frown puckering his winter face. "If you'll be gone all day tomorrow, I want to stay up later."

"Right..." she felt like a mother, being asked to stay up by her child. "I won't be gone _all _day. I have to do some shopping for us, and then I have to meet Haseo and Yominichi-taichou."

"I see." His frown didn't soften. "I'll draw a picture or two, then..." Shuujarou trailed off, still staring at her. "I really don't want to sleep on that couch."

"Then don't," Akane said crisply. "You can stay here. As far as I know, you're not a pervert."

**As far as you know... **"I wouldn't try anything on you." He decided to leave it at that, moving up next to her, his limbs sore from all the walking they'd done as they searched for a hotel. This one--Akane had insisted on the cheapest place in the city to save money--had taken four hours to find. "Ahh... so, the dead can sleep?"

"Of course we can," she said sourly. "We deserve sleep more than the lazy humans, anyway."

"That's true." Shuujarou yawned, pulling the covers over his uniform-clad frame.

Akane let her head fall against her pillow with a thump. She took in a breath. "I'm just sick and tired of all this work. If it's not doing endless hours of paperwork, it's chasing after some lunatic."

"Mmm..."

"You're going to ignore me?"

"I don't want to talk anymore," his voice was heavy, suddenly slurred with exhaustion. "We've... argued enough f-for tonight..." and his voice faded into something like a whisper. Akane watched him for a few moments.

"Hmph," she said crisply, turning away from him as well.

* * *

**We will hide****  
Build a new reality****  
Draw another picture  
Of the life you could have had  


* * *

**

April 13, 2033** 9:17 AM  
**_755 Omikawa Ct.  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan_

* * *

Noboru stared at the clouds that drifted idly around the sky, his eyes vacant. Haiso was undoubtedly running around town, searching for signs of Shima that she probably wouldn't find. Which left him alone in this house, sitting on the balcony.

He wished she weren't so utterly work-obsessed sometimes, not in any powerful way, but just slightly. He wanted to get to know her better, but his inner pessimist told him that this would probably never happen.

So Noboru tried to get her to open up, hoping vainly that they would get closer. It was an irksome life, but he would live it not because he was obligated to, but because he felt it was worth it, to see her smile, even rarely.

After awhile, the clouds bored Noboru. He made his way back into the house, a small one they were using while its humans' were on vacation. They wouldn't be here long, obviously, so he tried not to linger in any room for too long.

Boredom, here, was second nature.

He pondered the Shima situation. Haiso and Captain Misaki had the same dark view of it, and Lieutenant Kikenei seemed to be annoyed by the very prospect of being here. Still, she would get to spend time with her human, the one who was mucking everything up with his insignificant troubles. Still, he couldn't complain, because after all, Captain Yominichi seemed to love him, and so did everyone else. To each their own.

Noboru was admiring the large grandfather clock in the hall when he felt his phone vibrate. He whipped it open and held it to his ear.

"This is Gyakusetsu."

"Oi, I've got a lead for you guys." Immediately, he knew it was Haseo. "I think it might actually help."

"Go on, then," he said softly.

"You know how Enkaikaze stayed behind in Soul Society, right?"

Haiso thought of the 2nd Division Lieutenant for a moment. She was a cold young girl who barely spoke to anyone.

"Yes, I remember."

"Well, she went missing today. Nobody heard anything from her at--Masato!! Quit!" there was a shuffle, and he presumed that the two were fighting over the phone. Finally he spoke again. "Little... anyway, she didn't tell anybody she was leaving, there was no note, or any sign of a struggle."

"Mm. Do you know how this could apply to Shima?"

"It might, it might not. But the Soul Society's going nuts over it, especially Karin. First Captain Sakamesu dies, and now Ame's missing. I think we're all going to wind up biting the dust."

"Thank you, Captain Misaki." He wasn't interested in his end-of-the-world banter. "I'll call you should we come up with anything."

"Yeah, sure. Take care."

And then the line went dead.

So Ame Enkaikaze had gone missing; that was unexpected. She usually kept to herself, and had no quarrels with anyone. So either she had been abducted randomly, or she was hiding something.

Noboru suspected it was the latter.

* * *

_Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

* * *

_

April 13, 2033** 9:17 AM  
**_Yamasu Inn  
Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan

* * *

_

Akane drifted in and out of sleep when morning arrived, the annoying sunlight pressing at her eyelids. She had not dreamt, for once, and that irked her. Usually she had colorful, vibrant dreams, but she had slept blankly through the entire night.

She opened her eyes, and with a near heart-attack she realized that she was in Shuujarou's arms. _How the fuck...? _He was still sleeping, the sunlight casting its rays over his pale face. Akane's heart thumped in her chest, as she tried to reason with herself. _I should move away, but if I do I might wake him... and I do _not _want an argument before I leave... _She knew very well that she didn't want to leave his embrace, but she was trying to block that out.

He sighed in his sleep, and she decided she had to pull away. When she did, he simply turned over, still sound asleep.

_How did we get that way? _she asked herself, knowing that sometimes people did it out of habit. But why had she? She'd never laid in a bed with another person before. Perhaps it had been his doing. _I'm being obsessive again._

Akane hopped out of bed and changed into a set of Shuujarou's overlong clothes, rolling up the pant legs and pushing back the sleeves. Today, she had to buy herself some suitable clothes, touch base with Airika and Captain Misaki, and patrol the city for signs of Shima (which, she realized, didn't seem to be working out for anyone else) until at least 6:00, her Captain had told her.

She yanked on a pair of his old shoes and laced them up as tightly as she could--he wore at least a 14--before taking one last look around, at the tiny hotel room, and then at Shuujarou's sleeping form. Akane felt slightly awkward; should she write him a note or something? No, he knew she was leaving.

Akane shook her head. _I'm seriously a psychopath, _she thought to herself, striding out of the hotel room and shutting the door behind her.

As soon as he was sure she was gone, Shuujarou sat up in bed, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light. **Well, Akane, **he thought. **Who would've thought I'd wind up with a crush on you?

* * *

  
**

_we're dancing with devils, need not know their names  
we'll waltz like an army, in fear of our pain  
_

* * *

April 13, 2033** 11:39 AM  
**_???, Japan_

_

* * *

  
_

Ame kept her eyes closed as often as she could in this small room, because if she opened them, she would be forced to look at the man who had taken her from her home. He was shady and quiet, but he repulsed her so profoundly, she wanted nothing more than to spit on him.

It had been early in the morning, her kidnapping. Ame had been sleeping peacefully in her bed, anticipating work in the morning, and he had one of his cronies, a bulky man who didn't seem to know what he was doing, sedate her and snatch her from her bed. And she had awoken here, in this tiny room she suspected was a part of a large compound. Shima had came in about an hour ago, sitting in a single chair, that pretentious look on his face.

_Every he gets pissed off_, she thought, _I've always got to pay for it_, huh?

With his icy blue eyes he watched her, like a hungry lion on the prowl. She doubted he wanted her in a sexual way, but that he held a deep emotional attachment to her, one that bordered on dangerous. Their history had been rocky, a relationship that had dragged on over the years, and a few months before, she had ended it.

Needless to say, Shima hadn't taken it well, and he had began to write her persistent letters of apology, all of which she gently rejected. He crossed the line between an admirer and a stalker--at that point, she had stopped talking to him entirely.

Who had known the repercussions would be this extreme?

Ame frowned at him. "You wanted to speak to me so badly that you'd go so far as to kidnap me?"

He watched her for a moment. "Oh, Ame. You have no idea how much deeper this is than you and me." He had changed, since she had seen him last; not physically, but emotionally. Before, when they'd talked, he'd seemed hopelessly enthralled with her, so eager to please her. She had manipulated him beyond comprehension, and he had known it well. But now, he seemed satisfied with taunting her.

"Enlighten me a little." Her gaze fell to her bound hands and feet. "Obviously you want to keep me here."

"Not for the reason you think." His catlike eyes gleamed. "But I won't be telling you anything more than that, Ame. You're just going to have to deal with being here."

"Whatever, Inokiso. Leave me alone." She frowned at him, contemplating an escape. But these bonds on her had probably been sealed with reiatsu, and her zanpakuto was nowhere in sight. "I don't want to see you."

"Your little jibes aren't going to dissuade me. You're just a part of the plan, Ame, nothing more."

Ame just stared at him._ What plan?_ she asked herself_. He's probably bluffing, anyway. Everyone knows he's nothing more than a weakling from the Fourth Division._

But what she didn't know was that he was the blatant opposite of a weakling. Inokiso Shima and his followers would soon become one of the biggest threats the Soul Society would ever encounter.


	9. Author's Note

Explaining!

I edited all of Paroxysm, rewrote a bunch of parts, added some scenes, merged some chapters. Which means, that the chapter count may be odd, and some things may not be where they were before. Sorry for the confusion! But Paroxysm was seriously in need of some TLC. xD

Things I changed:

Shuujarou's age. _Originally, Shuujarou was seventeen years old. In the newer version, he is twenty-three, and his military rank is more realistic._

Setting. _The original storyline took place somewhere in Kyoto (I never specified, really), but this version mainly takes place in Kumamoto City, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan._

Kyuui. _Kyuui, sure, she's a bit annoying, but I toned her down. A LOT. xD I really couldn't stand how very Mary-Sue like she was. _

Naraki. _Shuujarou's father died in the original version. In this version, he is alive and continues to command the military._

Mortality_. In the original, Shuujarou died, and Akane discovered him randomly in the Soul Society (which made no sense), but in this version, he was the only soldier who had a trace of life left, and being the good Samaritan that Akane is, she decided to save him, and he was never, in fact, dead. So he is completely visible to Kyuui and all other humans._

Pairings and shit. _I had some original pairings in mind, but a few have been reworked/switched around. Main pairings you ask? Well, there's the Shuujarou/Akane/Kyuui love triangle thing, and then there's Noboru and Haiso, obviously. Haseo? I haven't figured that out yet. And hell, Airika just loves her own face ;D_

Overall quality. _Before it was iffy, and kind of cliché at points. I reworked a lot of the things I didn't like or just downright hated, (like Kyuui's psychoness, it NEEDED a limit), and a lot of the spelling/grammar errors have been fixed. Hopefully, now, I'll be much happier with the way it is. _

Anyways, while I've got your attention, I~

Love all of you, who read and review Paroxysm, or favorite me as an author, or anything =D much love!!

And don't miss the next chapter.

(Whenever I actually get around to writing it)

~Sil


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